Narrator, Lorax and others in “Unfinished Business”

In a town called Los Angeles, people felt groovy, for the Lorax had opened one hell of a movie. The studio's happy, the parties were tasteful, but poor Mr. Lorax found it all wasteful.

[confused] This sucks.

He complained, as they toasted Cristal.

They haven't been listening to me at all.

Then out popped the moolah, anmarvelous chap, while the Loraxnndroned on with his usual crap.nnMy name is the Lorax.nnI speak for the trees.nnBut the mubbulous moolahnjust did one of these.nnAnd, rolling his eyes, interrupted...nOh, please.nnOur planet is [bleep] and you'renearnest as hell, but thatnnhippity-dippity crap doesn't sell.nnWe can all make a difference,nno matter how tiny!nnHe said, and the moolah shot back...nGod, you're whiny.nnNobody likes a shrill liberal shouter.nnSo I fixed up your filmnwith my new message-outer.nnIt snipped out your message.nnDude, morals are lame.nnThe real money's made innthe merchandise game.nnAnd then, with a big, mightynroar from his trunk, appearednnHorton the Elephant washing his junk.nnOh, Lorax.nn...said Horton.nnI know how you feel.nnI once had a wholengoody-goody-type spiel.nnA person's a person no matter how small!nnLet me tell you -- that [bleep]ndidn't catch on at all.nnSo I got a new look, a newnname, something blunter.nnI've re-branded myself nownas Horton: Who hunter.nnFrom the shadows, the catnin the hat overheard andnnapproaching the Lorax said...nWhat up, nerd?!nnYou taught the kids to responsibly play.nnBut the cat in the hat said...nThat crap didn't pay!nnForget cleaning house.nnI'm straight cleaning up, guy!nnNow I'm off to go hang with Jamiroquai.nnI'm living the dream, and ifnparents are pissed, they can putnnin a call to my new publicists--nthing 1 and thingnn2, they're both on my payroll.nnThe Lorax was stunned.nnHoly crap!nnWhat an a-hole!nnNo more!nn...said the Lorax.nnNo more of these speeches!nnHow 'bout just one more?nnYou remember the sneetches?nnWe once had a message, andna good one, too, bro.nnBut did we get a movie?nnWell, did we?nnAll: Hell, no!

We tried to teach tolerance, and where did that get us? So [bleep] it! We'd rather make mountains of lettuce!

There's my house. It's 12 stories with 40 jacuzzis, 6 cars, 19 butlers, unlimited floozies. It's what it's about, ma'am. It's capitalism.

And the Lorax responded with geysers of jism. Thanks to the moolah, that marketing whore, he could finally see what he hadn't before.

I'll get me an agent, an accountant named Herschel, a toyline, a lunchbox, an iHop commercial.

Then the Lorax got rich and was totally stoked -- till the day he contracted AIDS and then croaked...

WHAT?!