[Harry Potter is sitting on a bed in his bedroom, A woman is in the doorway]
You wait right there, Harry. I'm going to change into something more comfortable.[leaves]
[pulls out his wand] Dungus stoutus. [taps his groin region and nothing happens] Oh, come on. Uh, beefus gurthus. [taps his groin region again and nothing happens] Polius maximus. [taps his groin region and a beanstalk shoots out and up into the air] AAAAH!! [cut to Hermione, who is sitting in a chair reading a book. Her phone vibrates and she checks it. It is a text from H "Chosen 1" Potter, who is really Harry Potter. Harry types "Hey, Hermione...". Hermione answers "Hey, what's up? Harry types "My dick turned into a beanstalk." Hermione gets a look of exacerbation. We cut back to Harry's phone. Hermione's screen name is Hermy "@Library" G. Hermione types the answer "Stalkus minimus"] Stalkus Minimus. Stalkus Minimus. Stalkus Minumus.
[The beanstalk recedes back into Harry's groin. Harry is relieved that it is gone. The woman opens the door wearing a red lace panty and bra set. Harry stands up to face her]
Now let me see what the famous Harry Potter's packing. [goes over to Harry, kneals down and opens his pants giggling] Why do you have a vag?
[We cut back to Hermione, smiling, picks her book up and starts reading again]
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