[On a street, at Christmas time as snow falls with a Santa ringing a bell for charity in the background, three young boys sing a holiday favorite...]
[singing] Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile lost its-
[One of the boys, Dougie, turns and bumps into someone...it's the Caped Crusader himself alongside his partner Robin]
[surprised] Batman?!
[Santa turns, sees the duo and flees in a panic]
Keep singing boys, we were learning a lot.
[sarcastically] Yeah, I never knew Batman had an odor problem.
[sniffs under his armpits] Hmm...weird, I don't smell anything. Do you Dougie? [grabs Dougie's head and stuffs the boy's face into his armpit. Dougie's muffled screams can be heard] I can't hear you. [throws Dougie back to his friends]
[starting to cry] I want my mommy!
Yeah, me too. [high-fives with Robin]
[steps forward] I may be named after a bird, but that doesn't mean I'm dropping eggs. [suddenly grabs Dougie's head and starts slamming it into his ass-cheeks] You wanna check these for some eggs?! Huh, you see any [bleep]ing eggs in there?! [lets Dougie go]
We gotta go! Run! Get out of here!
[The three boys start to run down the street]
They're getting away, Batman!
Not on my watch. [presses a button on his glove. Suddenly, as the three boys run for it the Batmobile arrives and runs them all over] The rats are scattering.
[pulling out his Bolo Whip and swings it] Holy, these mother[bleep]ers aren't going anywhere! [throws the Bolo Whip which wraps round one of the boys feet, tripping him up and causing him to land on his face, causing gruesome injuries]
[Batman then throws a Batarang, which lodges itself firmly in Dougie's back causing him to fall. As the boy struggles for life, Batman walks over and throws a few more in his back and a final one in his head, finishing him off. As the final boy climbs onto the kerb, Robin walks up]
[desperately] Sorry!
You can tell your dentist "I'M" sorry!
[Robin raises his leg and kerb-stomps the boy...and as he does, we cut to reality, as a music teacher is telling this story to one of the young boys in his class as his horrified classmates listen on]
And the police didn't even investigate the children's disappearance because Batman is above the law. But please Troy, keep singing your hilarious version of "Jingle Bells" and [bleep]ing up my Christmas program. No? All right then, from the top.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Robot Chicken quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Robot Chicken pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.