So, to sum up, we basically co-opted Santa Claus and made him synonymous with Coca-Cola.
I have to say, it's a breeze signing endorsement deals with fictional characters!
[The executives laugh]
Are we sure we don't wanna replace him with Britney Spears?
[The executives laugh some more, until Santa Claus barges into the room with a grumpy look on his face; the room fall silent]
Ho ho ho. Gentlemen, gentlemen. Please, no need to get up.
Uh, who are you?
Why, I'm Santa Claus. I was just flying by and heard everyone having a good laugh in here. Please, someone tell me what was so funny. [points to the executive 3 times] Make. Me. Laugh. [beat] Well, allow me to repeat a joke my lawyers told me the other day. It involved a large multi-national corporation that's been using my likeness without permission or compensation. Ho ho ho! Isn't that hilarious?!
N-Now, you listen here! Santa Claus doesn't exist! We all know that!
Now, why would you say that, Larry? Is it because I didn't give you the Louisville Slugger you asked for when you were 9? [pulls out a Louisville Slugger baseball bat from his coat]
How did you know that?
I know a lot of things, Larry. I know that you've been on my naughty list since '72. I know that your company has been using my image to promote your product since 1931. [takes off his coat] And I know I've never seen a dime, and you know what that means, Larry?! [whispers] I know you're a [bleep]ing thief! [attempts to whack Larry with the baseball bat, but he gets up on the table where he swings a Coke bottle at Santa. Santa Claus hits him twice with the baseball bat. He gets him off the table where he decapitates Larry with two swings to the head. A woman executive smashes a Coca-Cola picture over Santa's head before he kicks her away. Santa grabs another executive and shoves his head into a Coke cooler. He is seen with two Coke bottles sticking out of his eyes. Santa punches him in the stomach which makes him puke Coke. Santa opens a door where a hungry polar bear grabs another executive and eats him. The head executive attempts to swing at Santa, but he gets the bat and decapitates the head executive 7 times with it; puts his coat back on] I'll expect my check in the mail. [moves the door which reveals three more scared executives who gasped] You [bleep]ers can spell North Pole, can't ya? Oh, and about that talk of replacing me with Britney Spears... [pulls out Britney Spear's severed head from his bag] Think again. Ho ho ho! [smiles at the executives]
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