[Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble are sitting on the sofa]
Eh, Barney boy, this is the life!
You said it, Fred. An entire civilization not wearing underwear, you gotta love it!
[Fred and Barney give thumbs up to one another. Just then, there is a knock at the door]
Now, who could that be? [Barney laughs; opens the door] Yeah?
Hi, I'm Mr. Rock from FedEx Stone. I got a delivery for Fred Flintstone from Amazonaboulder.com-pebble. [Fred stares at him, confused; sighs] Look, sometimes the rock puns don't fit too well, buddy, you want the package or not? [leaves]
[reading the letter] "Dear Fred, I hope this distracted you long enough. Signed, Barney. P.S., I invented paper. Bitchin!" [looks over to Barney, who tries to sneak out with his box of Fruity Pebbles] BARNEY, MY PEBBLES!! [rushes over to Barney and tries to snatch the Fruity Pebbles away; Barney manages to escape from Fred with the cereal]
[laughing] You can't catch me, Fred! [Fred tackles him, and starts punching him in the face. Then he grabs nearby a club and hits Fred in the head with it. A cracking sound is heard and Fred falls down on the floor; laughs] Hey, good one, Fred, good- [then he's shocked to see Fred's lifeless corpse, which is a mangled mess. Blood pours out from his head] Uh-oh. [dissolve to him, burying Fred's dead body in his backyard, using a bird as a shovel] Dammit Fred. I just wanted some of your [bleep]in' cereal.
Oh, his head always was full of rocks.
[gasps] A witness! [kills the bird by breaking its spine over his knee, then runs back into the house] WITNESES! [we find more animals as household appliances] THE DISHWASHER!
My goodness Cretacious!
THE RECORD PLAYER!!
He's off his rocker!
THE BIDET!!!
Oh, man, the things I've witnessed...
[The animal appliances begin to scream in terror and panic. Barney manages to grab a pterodactyl, and pulls a pig out from under a table]
Is he stone-cold crazy?! You bet Jurassic!
NO MORE PUNS!!!! [stuffs the pterodactyl into the pig's mouth and laughs evilly, as the camera spins around him]
[Dissolve to Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble returning home]
So, he's trying to sell me a tampon, but I said, "It's just a rock!", and he says, "Well duh, everything's a rock!"
The nerve of some people.
[gasp as they see all of the dead animals, including Dino who is nailed to the wall] OH MY GOD!!!!
[Then shows Barney killing the pig by stuffing something into its mouth, with blood on it chuckling evilly. In his other hand, he holds the turtle]
Oh lord, please don't stop him before he kills me.
[Barney grunts in rage. Cut to a box of Fruity Pebbles as Barney is seen hanging in the gallows in the background]
Fruity Pebbles are an important part of this complete breakfast.
[The gallows drop, snapping Barney's neck and killing him]
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