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S1 E15

Rick and Morty · Season 1, Episode 15

Ricks, Mortys and others in “Unfinished Business”

RRicks

This is why you don't freeze time, you guys. It's incredibly irresponsible.

MMortys

And you did it so we could clean the house after a party?!

RRicks

Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, Morty. Like, literally no time. Look around. Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually, everything either is or isn't. And we've got about four hours to be "is."

MMortys

Or...?

RRicks

We "isn't." All right, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities, and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, I'm probably about to press this button in both possibilities at exactly the same time.

M1Morty 1/Summer 2

How do you know that I—

RRicks

Whatever you're asking, the answer is I'm amazing. And away we go!

[the two Ricks press their buttons; the two realities are starting to merge back together as one]

Huh, what do ya know—it's working. [the two Mortys and Summers begin distorting each other thoroughly] Oh... shit!

[Rick reverts into two possibilities again]

RRicks

What the hell is wrong with you two?! I-I-I-I..I mean, you four!

MSMortys/Summer 2

That hurt! That was painful!

RRicks

Good! I'm glad that was painful! You deserve it! I saw you!! Y-You're both uhh-all over the damn place! We've been split for 20 minutes and your lives are already scattered to the quantum fucking wind?! What the hell do either of you two have to be so uncertain about?! Your brand of zit cream?! Which chair to sit in while I do everything?! Come on, spit it out!

MMortys

Well, you don't exactly make it easy, Rick! [talk differently at the same time] You make fun all the time and that's got Summer to do! / You're always picking on me and now you got Summer to kiss your ass!

SSummers

Me?! What about you?! Could you be more excited to see me fail?! You got Grandpa all to yourself! / You're just as mean to me because you're jealous... because you want Grandpa all to yourself!

RRicks

All right, all right, cool it! I see what's happening here. You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favourite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen—I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

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