So, in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy, hysterical bird-brain homunculi. And I honestly can't even tell the two of you apart half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass—which makes you both identical. All right, everything resolved? Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world?
Yes.
All right, perfect. Sit still, arr-arms down. I'm gonna do this again. This time, be like Grandpa.
You mean drunk?
What's that? You got something to say? / And awaaay we go!
No.
And awaaay we go! [presses his button but no response] Huh, that's weird.
Huh, that's weird. [keeps pressing to no avail] Oh my God.
What? / Oh my God.
What? / The sonofabitch is gonna kill me!
What?! / The sonofabitch is gonna kill me!
What?! [both Ricks tinker time-device]
Diabolical, unfeeling sociopath! Don't you get it?! Don't you get it?!
Don't you get it?! The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore!
He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me! He probably figures it's ehh-easier to eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them! [chuckling] I have to admit, it's always in the back of my mind too. The difference is I would never do it! Until now.
Rick, what the hell are you doing?!
Saving our lives! After he takes me out, he's g-g— he's gonna be coming for you!
Who?!
Me! [Rick 1 shoots first before Rick 2 does; Morty and Summer 2 scream]
You see that?! Get down! [shoots upwards at Rick 1]
I told you! He's a psycho!
He's lost it! Th-th-th-the time fracture must've made him crazy!
I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do! / Oh, crap!
[the two possibilities then gradually split into four; all Ricks look at their monitors with four dots]
Oh, God, now there's three of 'em! We're outnumbered! Get in the cupboards! [all Mortys and Summers do so] Wait, do-don't do that! They'll know! Wa-wait— Think about getting in the cupboards, but don't really! [all Ricks shoot their cupboards] URAAAHHHH!!!! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT, YOU SICK FUCKS?!! YOU WANT TO SEE CHILDREN DIE?!!
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