[Lister has signed up for the Canaries]
What have I signed up for?
In the 19th century, when miners went down a pit: they'd lower a canary down first, in a little cage. [...] And if the atmosphere was noxious, as it frequently was, guess what the canary did?
Complained to the Foreman?
It died, Listy! [Lister burys his face in the table and starts hitting himself in the back of his head] The canary's job was to go into the most dangerous, unpleasant and most smeggy situations and see if it could stay alive. Then they'd know if it was safe to send in the important people.
I'm gonna kill him!
How come you've never heard of the Canaries? They've got recruitment posters all over the men's bogs! How come you've not seen them?
When I'm in the men's toilets in prison, Rimmer, I tend not to look around; d'yknow what I'm saying? It's like playing golf; I concentrate on my grip, keep my eye on the ball and try not to veer off to the side!
The Canaries! You know what they say it's supposed to stand for? Convict Army, Nearly All Retarded Inbred Evil Sheepshaggers! They haven't got an X chromosone to share between them!
Smeg. It gets worse as well.
(laughing) Worse! Go on!
I've signed you up too. I forged your signature. I signed everyone up! Cat, Kryten, Kris...
No way. No way am I becoming a Canary!
(part from a deleted scene) Too late, tweety-pie, there's your I.D badge and uniform!
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