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Red Dwarf

Lister in “Better Than Life”

I remember when my dad died, you know. I was only six. I got loads of presents off everyone, like it was Christmas. I remember wishing a couple more people would die so I could complete my Lego set. My grandma tried to explain, you know. She said he'd gone away and he wasn't coming back. So, I wanted to know where, like, you know. She said he was very happy and he'd gone to the same place as my goldfish. So I thought they'd flushed him down the bog. I thought he was just round the U-bend, you know. I used to stuff food down, you know, and magazines and that for him to read. They took me to a child psychologist in the end, because they found me with my head down the bowl, reading him the football results.

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