Michael and Emmett in “Pilot”

He calls me, practically begs me to go with him, knowing full well I'm with someone, for the first time in I don't know how long...

7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days.

Thank you. And even though the guy wasn't all he was cracked up to be...

We'll let that remark pass.

At least he wanted me. Me! [Sits down on the couch] God, I'm so horny!

Poor baby. Well I have just the thing. A new porn video. [Runs to get the video] It all takes place in a prisoner of war camp. Hot, horny men starved for action.

I can relate to that.

Guaranteed to make your private stand up and salute.

Schindler's Fist?

Ah... Here. [hands Michael the remote] I'll leave you two alone. I'm sure you'll going to have a deep, meaningful relationship. Good night!