Carol quotes from Pluribus

Carol

You people make no goddamn sense, do you know that? "We wanna make you happy", you say. "Your life is your own", you say. And agency, I've got all this agency! But, I mean, I guess I have agency just until I don't?

Zosia

Carol, if you were walking by a lake and you saw somebody drowning, would you throw them a life preserver? Of course you would. You wouldn't think, you wouldn't wait, you wouldn't try to get consensus on it. You'd just throw it.

Carol

So now I'm drowning?

Zosia

You just don't know it.

Why would you want one?

Carol

To blow shit up, for kicks. I mean, does it matter? You gave me a grenade, for fuck's sake. [A long beat. Carol leans forward.] It'd be okay to say "No" at this point. That would be sane. Not utterly, batshit crazy.

If you truly wanted a nuclear weapon, we would weigh the pros and cons with you. We would explain that it would be very destructive...

Carol

"Yes" or "No".

Ultimately... Yes. We wouldn't necessarily feel good about it. But we would move Heaven and Earth to make you happy, Carol. Would you like an atom bomb?

Carol

I'm gonna have to get back to you on that.

Carol

You're the fucking mayor.

Thank you for your vote.

Carol

What did Helen think of my books? Tell me.

Helen loved you very much.

Carol

Not what I asked, Larry. Spit it out. What did Helen think of the Wycaro books?

Carol, you expressly told us that Helen is off-limits.

Carol

Yeah, but you know what? Special dispensation this one time. What did Helen think of my Wycaro books? Larry?

She thought they were… harmless.

Carol

"Harmless"?

"Cotton candy" was the phrase she used in her mind. Mostly.

Carol

Okay, if you're so accepting, then what about what you're trying to do to me now? Make me just like you, even though you know I do not want that.

Zosia

You want to change us too, don't you? Didn't you just ask if it's possible? There is something else to consider. We know what it feels like to be you. To be alone. To suffer. We've been you. But you've never been us.

Hello, Carol.

Carol

Hey! Uh, where did everybody—?!

This is a recording. At the tone, you can leave a message to request anything you might need. We'll do our best to provide it. Our feelings for you haven't changed, Carol. But after everything that's happened, we just need a little space.

Zosia

May we ask you a question?

Carol

Sure.

Zosia

What was your best day writing?

Carol

No such thing.

Zosia

Really?

Carol

C'mon, you have other writers in there! You should know. That's like asking "Uh, what's the most fun you ever had getting your teeth drilled?"

Zosia

Oh, you poor, tortured artist.

Carol

You are trying to distract me. Knock me off-course. You rebuild my favorite diner. You jump for joy when I tell you I'm writing again, but it's all an act. It’s manipulative bullshit because you know I haven't given up. Admit it. Tell me you know I won't give up.

Zosia

We know. We wish you would. But it's also true we love Wycaro.