I'm bowling all right, I'm bowling FRUIT! I've reached the next level, I've gone BEYOND!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Discussing politicians with Mark and Alan]
JJez
What I mean is that they should be more honest. I mean, at least Tony Adams from the IRA, he's like "Yeah, I shoot people, I like shooting people!" I mean, if they were more honest, then maybe people would vote and not switch straight over when the news comes on.
JJez
Mark likes Israel, I'm Palestine. Makes it much more interesting if you pick sides.
You passed out after the love beans... thought the table was being ironic.
[In flash back of drug induced state]
JJez
(Floss is boss, Floss is boss).
[Begins to strangle Super Hans with dental floss]
JJez
FLOSS IS BOSS! FLOSS IS BOSS!.
We're going to have parties that go beyond fun and actually get a bit nasty.
JJez
Will you walk, like some stupid.. duck? Or will you drive, like Clarkson?
JJez
The bad thing. That was the bad thing.
[Cut to shot of Super Hans performing oral sex on Jeremy the previous night]
Alright. My turn now.
Are you sure you can get home from here?
Hmmm. (You can never go home again. Winter's coming. Is this Stalingrad? Is this where it all ends?)
JJez
Look mate, I'm next door. I heard you. Your... noise. Last night.
Oh, that. That was nothing. That was... press-ups.
JJez
Yep, well, you certainly seemed to enjoy the last few... a lot.
[Entering Barbara's empty office late at night]
(Hey Barbara, thought we should have a follow up meeting re: the phones thing... Oh, you're not here.) [opens desk drawer] (Well, I'll just leave my new idea in your desk, give you time to think about it. Yeah, so my new idea is urine.) [urinates into drawer] (Loads and loads of urine, flooding your drawers. What do you think about that? Don't you think that would be just the ticket?) [urinates on a folder on the floor] (Yeah, you're getting some too!) [phone rings, Mark answers] JLB Credit, fuck off please!
TTherapist
Often I like to kick things off with a bit of word association. It's kind of a fun way...
Is it therapy?
TTherapist
Not really, no. I'll just say a word and you tell me the very first thing that pops into your mind.
(He's trying to therapise me.)
TTherapist
Okay, let's start with an obvious one. Work.
(Snake-pit.) Snake... charmer.
TTherapist
Just say the first thing that comes to mind. Money.
(Everything.) ...not everything.
TTherapist
Children.
(Blind.) Uh, short.
TTherapist
Father.
(Führer.) Football.
TTherapist
Mother
(Sophie.) Fuck! No, not fuck!
TTherapist
Have you ever done a Rorschach test? Just tell me what you see.
(A hairy twat. A hungry, devouring twat) ...a kitten?
It's payback time.
JJez
And she's paying back... in fear dollars!
I hope when you're back on my team, we can get back to normal.
Your team? (Heal and grow. Heal and grow.) Well, I guess it's very nice for the big lady to come down here and talk to the little man. I'm just surprised you can see me from all the way up there in your ivory tower.
Oh, if you're gonna be like that, you can fuck off.
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