TV show quotes
[to Jez playing darts]
Are you aiming for the bulls-eye?
Yeah, 'course I am, it's the best thing on the board!
No, it isn't.
Mark, just look at it. It's tiny, it's red, it's right in the bloody middle. 'Course it's the best thing on the board!
We'll be going to bed when Mark's getting his morning horn off the FT.
Right well, let's crack on.
Don't. Say. Crack, Jez. Yeah? Please. Not now. 'Cause you saying crack makes me think about crack and I love crack. So can you not say crack?
I've got a monkey on my back the size of King Kong. I am being fucked by King Kong!
We're not going to be two of those idiots you hear about who go up a mountain in Flip Flops and Sombreros and have to be rescued.
Would you rather be one of those idiots they find frozen to death, drinking his own piss while badgers chew on his corpse?
[Dividing up his chocolate] There's seven segments, so that three each and one left over which is mine since... it's all mine.
Oh, the spirit of the The Blitz lives on. Fuckin' hell.
Drugs! Drugs! Drugs!
I'd probably be very angry with you right now, if I weren't so incredibly high.
Super Hans, are you trying to skin up with your feet again? Because it doesn't work, does it? It just makes a mess.
Why were you phoning me anyway, you big idiot?
Well, I wanted to talk some stuff through with someone didn't I? You big.. dick.
What stuff? You're not having gay feelings again Mark?
No, one time that happened.
So you accepted the acceptance?
I had to .. it was check mate.
She’s good for me, Jez. She’s dragging me into the twenty-first century with its meaningless logos and ironic veneration of tyrants. It’s all good, my friend.
I've got loads of really important stuff to do this weekend.
Jeremy, a carton of Mars Bar Milk, a small bag of marijuana, and a pirated DVD of Anchorman are not important things.
But what's Blair going to do?
Maybe he'll become an ethical porn star.
Or maybe he'll form a political supergroup. Blair, Bono on vocals, Clinton on sax.
Yeah, that's definitely going to happen. Geldof's gonna shit.
Oh, you grew a beard. Makes you look handsome, like a policeman.
Thank you. You're obviously very attractive, too. (Ugh! What am I going to do next? Tell her she's got lovely tits?)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Peep Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
