Bailey Salinger quotes from Party of Five

Bailey

Mom and dad dying took a ton away, but it also gave me something. It made me grow up really fast, and so now, I'm getting a shot at stuff that most guys have to wait for until they're twice my age. And if I pass this one up, I still have a whole extra lifetime to go after it again.

Bailey

Y'know what Owen said to me yesterday? He said that of all the dads on his team, that I'm the best, because I'm most like a kid.

Bailey

It's really starting to seem like every sentence I hear starts with, 'You should," or, 'You better,' or 'You have to,' and I... it doesn't make sense for me to complain about it because everything that I have I've asked for. But if I could just find five seconds where nobody needed anything from me...

Bailey

I'm sorry, I've been kinda AWOL, but there's been some stuff going on, since Sarah left. Which was kinda distracting to me.

Julia

Do you ever think about them Bailey?

Bailey

Yeah, of course I do.

Julia

Well why don't we ever talk about them. I mean why don't we ever talk about it?

Bailey

I don't know maybe we feel like we have to put on this brave face for Claud and Owen. But maybe that's stupid. Maybe we should talk about it. Maybe it would help.

Julia

Sometimes I wonder if these feelings are ever gonna go away.

Bailey

I don't know, I hope someday they will.

Charlie

Julia get down here now, family meeting. Me and Doug and a friend of his were gonna by into this co-op. We were gonna fix it up and sell it. The whole thing was gonna take a month tops. We would have doubled our money no questions asked. Except the guy took the money and split.

Bailey

How much money did you lose, Charlie?

Charlie

12 [long pause] thousand.

Julia

Of your own money right?

Bailey

So much for your lectures on responsibility. Is this why you wanted control of all the accounts so you could blow it all yourself?

Charlie

Why didn't you pay the phone bill?

Bailey

Why didn't I pay the phone bill? Why didn't I pay the phone bill??

Claudia

You can't tell me what to do.

Charlie

Oh yes I can, read the guardianship agreement.

Bailey

Oh, would you shut up about that already, Charlie? A piece of paper does NOT make you a parent.

Charlie

Lights out time, Claud. Come on

Bailey

We never go to be this early. Bailey?

Charlie

Starting tonight.

Claudia

Forget it. You can't tell me what to do.

Charlie

Oh yes I can, read the guardianship agreement.

Bailey

Oh, would you shut up about that already, Charlie? A piece of paper does NOT make you a parent.

Charlie

Hey, you know what? I am really sick of hearing that from you, Bailey. If you've got a problem with this agreement, fine. It doesn't have to be this way. You guys just won't be able to stay together. No one will be in charge, and they'll come in here and split you guys up. I'm responsible for this family and I'm gonna take that responsibility seriously.

Bailey

Oh, give me a break, Charlie! You're the one who lost the money, not me! You wanna help us? We don't need your rules, okay? Why don't you go get a job?

Charlie

I am getting a job.

Bailey

What?

Charlie

I've got carpentry stuff in the wings.

Bailey

You know you've always got something in the "wings", Charlie. I saw the jobs you circled in the paper. "Construction foreman", "master carpenter". You're not looking for a job, you're looking for a career. We need money now. If you wanna help us, go get a job. [to Claudia] It's late, Claud. You should probably get to bed.

Bailey

[about his crush on Kirsten] Any suggestions?

Will

Yeah. Snap out of it. Do you have any clue how to analyze the poem "To His Coy Mistress" in terms of its theme, metaphor, imagery and meter?

Bailey

Not off the top of my head.

Will

Well you better figure it out, cause if you spend the next 3 days mooning over this babysitter and blow this paper, you get put on academic probation and get benched from the team, and we lose another game. Ten other guys are gonna come to your house and do a job on your face so no girl will find you attractive again, OK?

Bailey

Girls switch boyfriends all the time.

Will

Well what are you going to do? Just call her up and tell her to break up with him? And go out with you instead?

Bailey

No, I'm gonna, you know... I'm just gonna... hang around her a lot.

Claudia

Yeah, you know... Just be there all the time.

Bailey

Yeah.

Will

Gee, why didn't I think of that.

Bailey

And then you know, eventually she'll fall for me.

Claudia

Like a ton of bricks.

Will

And why is that again?

Claudia

Duh... He's Bailey.

Bailey

Hey Charlie, you ever get the feeling the Gods just don't like us?

Charlie

All the time, Bay, all the time.

Bailey

I'm such a moron. I can't believe what a moron I am.

Will

You are a moron.

Bailey

I...I just, kinda forced the issue.

Will

The issue?

Bailey

With Kate about Tom.

Will

The boyfriend?

Bailey

Yep.

Will

You said him or you?

Bailey

Pretty much.

Will

Wow

Bailey

Yeah

Will

And?

Bailey

And what? Would I be a moron if everything would have worked out?

Will

Good point by you.

Bailey

Okay so I hire 2 big guys to kidnap him and take him off to some remote island or Hawaii, someplace. Just so Kate doesn't see him for a while and then eventually she forgets all about him.

Will

Hmm. I don't know Bay. Kidnapping? I don't think they let you graduate from high school if you've kidnapped somebody.

Claudia

I'm just gonna stay out here.

Bailey

All night? Look, Claud, I gotta get back inside, I can't--

Claudia

Fine! So don't. I'd rather be alone, anyway.