Del, Albert and others in “Unfinished Business”

Del

(taking a smell of the "coffee" Albert just made) Hang about, which coffee did you make this with?

Albert

That jar over there.

Del

This ain't coffee! Smell it, it's bloody gravy.

Albert

Yeah, that's gravy. Well it's not my fault. It's them jars, look. How am I supposed to tell the difference?

Del

I'll tell you how you tell the difference. This one has on the label, Maxwell House coffee and on this one it says Oxo gravy granules. Bit of a giveaway really, innit?

Albert

Well, I was in a hurry and I got mixed up.

Del

I'll mix you up in a min...[realises] Hang on a minute. If you've made gravy in the coffee pot, then what are they pouring over their dinners in there? (goes to look) All right?

Wonderful.

Del

(uneasy smile) Cushty. (to Albert) They're only doing it. They are only out there doing it now! They are only pouring Maxwell bleeding House over their lamb noisewats and veg. I don't believe you. Not only have you managed to sink every aircraft carrier and battleship that you've ever sailed on, but now you've gone and knackered a gravy boat!