I don't don't like it - I hate it! And I demand to leave! … Well that is because you are not the one who is supposed to spend the next 4 years of his life in this Godforsaken hole in the wall, pigsty with a bunch of dirty, psychotic rednecks!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
When I heard we had a crack at a Jew doctor from New York City.. well, I don't have to tell you I jumped. You boys do outstanding work.
[to Maggie after a few beers] You're kinda pretty in a like, clean sort of way.
Months later, as I sat in a juvenile detention home rereading those poems that had opened up the artist in me, I was blindsided by the raging fist of my incarcerator, who informed me that Walt Whitman's homoerotic unnatural pornographic sentiments were unacceptable and would not be allowed in an institution dedicated to reforming the ill formed.
He is a doctor.
Oh really? Which kind?
Witch.
Which which?
Which what?
Which doctor?
Right.
[to Joel] Indians don't knock. It's rude.
All you care about is you, and New York, and your precious career!
Look, Mother Theresa. I did not get off the plane and say that I am Marcus Welby, kindly physician, and all around swell guy! Okay!?! I was fully prepared to do my time in Anchorage, but I am contractually bound to this tundra under false pretenses and against my will. So if I resort to some unscrupulous practices to right a greater wrong, look, where's Amnesty International when it comes to Joel Fleischman?!?
"She's Actin' Single, I'm Drinkin' Double"..."I'm The Only Hell My Mama Ever Raised"? Chris, you play this crap at 6:00 in the morning, you're gonna be lookin' down so many barrels you'll think you've landed in an N.R.A. convention. And I'll be leading the pack!
I don't think you should bug Dr. Fleischman because he's from New York, and they have a thing about paparazzi.
Soapy once told me that the thing he loved most about country music was its sense of myth. There's heroes and villains, good and bad, right and wrong. The protagonists stroll into a bar, which he sees as a microcosm of the big picture. He contemplates his existence and he asks himself, 'who's that babe in the red dress?' [turns to Joel] All right. Well, you know the way I see it, if you're here for four more years or four more weeks; you're here right now. You know, and I think when you're somewhere you ought to be there, and because it's not about how long you stay in a place. It's about what you do while you're there. And when you go is that place any better for you having been there? Am I answering your question?.
Uh, no, not really.
[laughs] What was your question?
What am I gonna say to Maggie?
I don't know.
It would help if I hadn't had to sleep in a kennel. I-I can't even think straight.
I think you oughta just be honest. You know, don't skirt the issue. Don't... you know, just deal with it head-on.
I know.
I'd tell her she's got great lips.
This is Chris In The Morning with a special K-Bear, Arrowhead County welcome to Mr. Okie Masuto and Mr. Vincent Chiba. Ohaiyo gozaimasu (Good morning). O-genki desu ka (How are you)? Howdy, boys!
Hey, there! This is Chris In The Morning and we're on the phonelines. Who am I talking too?
JJules
Jules, up on the Koyuk River.
Hey, Jules, what's on your mind today?
JJules
I went up to Baker's Point this morning to find Holling. He used to make camp the with the Littlejohn boys...
Cut to the chase, Jules.
JJules
All I saw was a couple of empty beer can and used condoms.
[to Holling] You may think that because you're so much older than me you know more about the world. Well in some cases that may be. But I read magazines! I watch TV! I know how people are supposed to treat each other.
It's occasions like these that... my thoughts turn to marriage. I think of the Dalai Lama, The Pope, Mother Teresa; very spiritual people who never took the plunge. Then on the other hand, we have Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney, who couldn't get enough of a good thing. What do we make of this dichotomy? Well, we're here to wish our friends a long life filled with happiness. Shelly Tambo, do you take this man to be you lawful, wedded husband till death do you part?
Uh-huh.
Holling Vincour, do you take this lovely girl to be your lawful, wedded wife till death do you part? ... Holling? Holling?
I wonder if I might speak with Shelly for a moment? In private.
That's the most beautiful non-ceremony I ever saw.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Northern Exposure pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.