Ed Chigliak quotes from Northern Exposure

Ed

[to Joel] Indians don't knock. It's rude.

Ed

I don't think you should bug Dr. Fleischman because he's from New York, and they have a thing about paparazzi.

Ed

Thanks for showing me the outside of your house, Maurice. I especially enjoyed the imaginary flower garden.

Ed

Like Woody Allen says 'It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls'.

Ed

He is a doctor.

Joel

Oh really? Which kind?

Ed

Witch.

Joel

Which which?

Ed

Which what?

Joel

Which doctor?

Ed

Right.

Joel

You are single, you are heterosexual, you are a doctor, you are Jewish. Alaska is wide open for you and I was right. Believe me, I will be out there. I'll have to fight the women off.

Ed

What women?

There's an old saying that if you go back to the place where you first became a man, you remember all those things you need to be happy.

Ed

I don't remember anything.

That saying never made sense to me, but I thought it was worth a try.

Chris

You have to talk to her sometime, Ed.

Ed

Why?

Chris

Well, because that's what married people do. They communicate.

Joel

Do you believe this; have you ever seen a man with this kind of incredible irresistible magnetism for the opposite sex?

Ed

James Bond.

Joel

That's the movies Ed; try reality.

Ed

No thanks.

Ed

Pete…I think you should know that I'm…I'm…I'm…I'm…I'm…

You're what, Ed?

Ed

Uh, kind of thirsty.

Maurice

[Maurice catches Ed talking to his statue] Look, Ed. If you've got something to say, you say it to me. You got that?

Ed

Okay, Maurice. But, uh -

Maurice

But what?

Ed

Well, it's just that he's a little easier to talk to.

Maurice

The statue?

Ed

Well, he doesn't throw my thoughts off like you do sometimes.

Maurice

I don't throw your thoughts off, son! What are you talking about?

Ed

Well, kind of like now, Maurice.

Maurice

I'm not in the business of throwing people's thoughts off! Is that clear?

Chris

"Time is but the stream I go a fishing in." Henry David Thoreau.

Ed

"Pass me a sandwich." Ed Chigliak.