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A character in Northern Exposure

Chris Stevens quotes from Northern Exposure

Played by John Corbett · 40 quotes · page 3 of 3

Chris Stevens

Played by John Corbett

Northern Exposure · 109 quotes

Most-quoted character in Northern Exposure: in 40 of its 109 quotes
Most scenes with: Joel Fleischman (2), Ed Chigliak (2), Shelly Tambo (2)

Lines by Chris Stevens 32

Chris

Ladies and gentlemen, today we're here to honor electricity, the charge that charges everything from those electrons snapping in our brain to our father the sun. What's the sun It's kind of like a brain. Electromagnetic field, solar flares sparking back and forth from those nerve cells. We're all one, folks, giant blobs of electricity, all of us. Positive & negative, electromagnetic fields just circling each other. Positive, negative, north, south, male and female. Looking for that electric moment. Magnet to magnet, opposites attract.

Scenes with Chris Stevens 8

Chris

Soapy once told me that the thing he loved most about country music was its sense of myth. There's heroes and villains, good and bad, right and wrong. The protagonists stroll into a bar, which he sees as a microcosm of the big picture. He contemplates his existence and he asks himself, 'who's that babe in the red dress?' [turns to Joel] All right. Well, you know the way I see it, if you're here for four more years or four more weeks; you're here right now. You know, and I think when you're somewhere you ought to be there, and because it's not about how long you stay in a place. It's about what you do while you're there. And when you go is that place any better for you having been there? Am I answering your question?.

Uh, no, not really.

Chris

[laughs] What was your question?

What am I gonna say to Maggie?

Chris

I don't know.

It would help if I hadn't had to sleep in a kennel. I-I can't even think straight.

Chris

I think you oughta just be honest. You know, don't skirt the issue. Don't... you know, just deal with it head-on.

I know.

Chris

I'd tell her she's got great lips.

Chris

Hey, there! This is Chris In The Morning and we're on the phonelines. Who am I talking too?

JJules

Jules, up on the Koyuk River.

Chris

Hey, Jules, what's on your mind today?

JJules

I went up to Baker's Point this morning to find Holling. He used to make camp the with the Littlejohn boys...

Chris

Cut to the chase, Jules.

JJules

All I saw was a couple of empty beer can and used condoms.

Chris

It's occasions like these that... my thoughts turn to marriage. I think of the Dalai Lama, The Pope, Mother Teresa; very spiritual people who never took the plunge. Then on the other hand, we have Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney, who couldn't get enough of a good thing. What do we make of this dichotomy? Well, we're here to wish our friends a long life filled with happiness. Shelly Tambo, do you take this man to be you lawful, wedded husband till death do you part?

Uh-huh.

Chris

Holling Vincour, do you take this lovely girl to be your lawful, wedded wife till death do you part? ... Holling? Holling?

I wonder if I might speak with Shelly for a moment? In private.

Those Northern Lights are some kind of weird psychic, something?

Chris

Yeah.

What causes them to do that?

Chris

Well, this is just my guess, but I think that high speed electrons and protons from the sun are trapped in the van Allen radiation belt. Then they're channeled through the Polar Regions by the earth's magnetic field where they collide with other particles and create a brilliant luminosity.

What does that have to do with us?

[Chris

I swear man, I don't know.

Chris

I can see how that can be a problem. You know, it's like Jung says, "The unconscious is revealed through the imagery of our dreams which express our innermost fears and our desires."

Jung said that?

Chris

Yeah, I think it was Jung. Or maybe Vincent Price.

[Joel stops the duel between Maurice and Nikolai]

Hold it, hold it, hold it! This is ridiculous! Hey, we play to a very sophisticated television audience. They know Maurice is not going to kill Nikolai, and they definitely know that Nikolai is not going to kill Maurice.

Wait a minute, Fleischman. You can't just take it upon yourself to step out of character. Nobody yelled 'cut'.

Joel's right. The duel is stupid.

Can we just stick to the matter at hand?

How about the fifth revision? Where Nikolai's abscessed tooth starts acting up, and, well, he just cancels.

Glib and textually unwarranted.

NNikolai

What if Maurice trips and kills someone else by mistake?

Oh, great, so I'm a klutz now, huh?

Look, if there's not a duel, then what is the point of this whole story?

Chris

What's the point? The point is - man's tendency to war, but Joel here is asking us to step outside of certain events and say enough. Am I right?

Listen, whatever, it's getting cold out here.

Why don't we go on to the next scene? It's a pretty good one.

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