Kai quotes from Ninjago

Jay

[trying to catch a meatball with a fork] Haha, come here, you little sucker! [accidentally stabs Kai]

Kai

[yelps in pain] Aah!

Jay

[gasps] Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—

Kai

[stops Jay from removing the fork from his hand] Don't! Just don't.

Proximity alarm. Something is approaching the Bounty fast.

Nya

Onscreen.

It is Samurai X.

Oh. He must be here to help us out.

I'm afraid that is unlikely.

Lloyd

Why?

Because my system is overrun.

Kai

You're making no sense, P.I.X.A.L.. What are you talking about?

This would be a good time to make a minor confession… I am Samurai X.

Kai

What? Are you serious?

Nya

How is that possible?

Lloyd

How can you be Samurai X?

Jay

Totally called it!

You did not!

Jay

Did too!

Jay

He did not just—

Kai

He just did!

Jay

[sees the baby] Cole? Hehe. I thought you put the baby down for a nap.

You mean little Cole Jr.? I did, but he was pretty restless.

Jay

Uh-huh. Yeah. Then why is little Cole Jr. standing in front of me and passing me the pliers?

Uh... Cole Jr. is walking now? I don't know much about babies, but are babies supposed to walk?

Kai

No. No, they are not. And I don't think they know what pliers are. [the baby blows on a cup of tea to cool it, then drinks it] And they definitely can't do that.

Jay

Okay, now I've seen it all. Now I really quit.

Ninja never quit. [laughs]

I know that phrase....

Jay

Uh, guys, I don't think that's Cole Jr., that's Master Wu!

Oh, now isn't this a lovely pickle?

Kai

Where's Lloyd?

Harumi

The Green Ninja can't help you now.

Nya

Remember how I didn't care for her at first? Then she won me over with all that girl talk, and we started to really get to know each other? Well, now I hate her!

Zane

Don't even think about it.

Kai

This can end one of two ways: either you hand the masks over peacefully—

Jay

I don't even have to know the rest of the choices. I like that one.

Harumi

Or what?

Kai

Or we'll have to get all ninja up on ya.

Harumi

What does that even mean?

Kai

I don't know. I was improvising. Usually Lloyd does the talking. But he isn't here. B— WHERE'S LLOYD?!

Did anybody get some FIZZ?! ATTACK!

Harumi

(flabbergasted) How?!

Nya

Commissioner!

So good to see you.

Kai

There's no time to lose.

Sorry to barge in, but it's really quite urgent.

Zane

We have to vacate the city.

Jay

We need weapons, lots and lots and lots of weapons.

Crabby!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. One at a time. Just shoot it to me straight: what's gonna do me in?

Pardon? Do you in?

Every time something bad happens to the city, first thing they do is can the police commissioner. So what is it this time? Subterranean mutant insects? Indomitable flesh-eating zombies? A pirate genie?

Pirate genie?

Yes, why not? Anything can happen in this crazy town.

Kai

Not so fast!

Jay

"Not so fast?" That's our big entrance? You used that ages ago. After all these battles, all this time, you couldn't come up with something better?

Kai

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm distracted by that giant walking thing!

Kai

[finds foil under the Bounty's debris] Foil. I found foil! Ah! Yes! We have foil!

Zane

[grunts as he sets up a radio] Okay, let's see if it works.

Say we're lucky enough to reach someone in Ninjago. After everything that's happened, is there even a home to go back to?

Kai

One way to find out. Here goes nothing. [flips a switch on the radio]

Zane

And that sounds like nothing.

Kai

Ugh, we're never getting home!

Jay

[calmly] So it doesn't work. I'm telling you guys, I've been feeling so much better now that I've accepted our situation. This is our new home.

You don't sound like yourself, Jay.

Jay

I'm just saying you don't have to freak out about it. Heh. It could be worse.

Kai

Worse? Worse!? A strange tea lady just marooned us in the Realm of Oni and Dragon. A realm, mind you, we know nothing about, with no hope of getting home, and no clue as to what else is out there!

Jay

Uh, Oni and Dragons, duh?

Sure, Jay. We've all seen Dragons. But aren't you the least bit concerned about coming across an Oni? I mean, we hardly know anything about them.

Zane

Except that they like to destroy, and Master Wu is part Oni.

Jay

[laughs] Ah, man.

Kai

You not freaking out… is FREAKING ME OUT!

Jay

Kai, baby, it's much easier coping with life's problems when you let go of hope. [slides down a plank] Whoo-hoo! Hey, turn up that music. That's my butter and jam. Yeah-ha!

Yeah, he's totally lost it.

Jay

Nope, I've totally found it!

Kai

No sign of Cole, or Wu for that matter. So, whatcha doin', Jay?

Jay

[playing a "game" on a piece of wood] It's my new video game console. I built it myself.

Kai

Uh-huh. [to Zane] Is it working?

Zane

It's working!

Kai

Really? Jay, do you believe it?

Jay

Ain't no video game console with unlimited plays.

Iron Baron

They are Masters of Elements! A week's rations for the Hunter who brings them to me in chains!

Kai

I count ten.

Zane

There are fifteen.

Kai

Yeah, well, you were always better with math. You with us, Jay?

Jay

We're totally outnumbered. They have weapons and we don't, I haven't eaten all day, not to mention showered in a week. Do you see there are kids in this audience? This level of violence is far too much for them to handle, let alone me!

Zane

He's back to normal.

We're getting closer to the Firstbourne's nest. We will eat when the Son of the Spinjitzu Master has the Dragon Armor, and we are all in Ninyeego.

Zane

It's Ninjago. It's really not that hard to pronounce.

Kai

Oh, to be back home, in a real bed.

Jay

Mmm, with real food.

And cake. Why did I ever give up cake?

Jay

[snorts] Because your body is a temple.

What is this, cake?

Imagine all that is good, baked into warm and moist. Then add a sweet, sugary frosting, that's cake.

You sound excited, but are you ready for what lies ahead.

What do you think you're doing?

Jay

Uh, nothing? [Jet Jack holds up her weapon] They are going to eat us!

Ow. Ugh. Ever heard of stairs?

I don't know if I should thank you, Jet Jack, or prepare to fight.

Kai

Or if you're going to eat us, eat him first. [points to Cole] He's filled with cake!

[stutters] A-am not!

Zane

He's too considerable to take down.

Kai

And he's got good reflexes!

Guys, I'm nearly out of chain.

Jay

Me too.

Kai

Even if we had more, it's not thick enough to stop it.

Zane

Then perhaps next time we should use thicker chains.

There ain't gonna be a next time!

Jay

And Zane's the smart one.

Kai

No, he's onto something. Look at all that chain. If we can use it, we could lock it down.

And who of us is stupid enough to jump on that thing?

Kai

Cole, say no more. [jumps on the Colossus]

That's my last one. Make it count!