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5 SEASONS

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New Tricks quotes

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S1 E1The Chinese Job

[First words on series - Murder Squad burst into room]:

POLICE! Stay where you are!

MSMurder Squad Officer

Hands in the air! Now!

[Chinese man translates to everyone]

MSMurder Squad Officer

Drop everything on the floor! Now! Do it!

[Chinese man translates, forcing a man to release a vicious dog]

[Sandra pulls out her gun and shoots the dog]

CMChinese Man

You shot my dog... You shot my dog!

[Whilst this is going on, a person tied up in the bedroom escapes through the window and lands on a car - the murder squad investigate]

[rolls eyes] Ah. [she takes her helmet and mask off] Terrific!

[Sandra getting transferred to form a new team – UCOS]

DBDonald Bevan

Anna Dubrovski's murder is to be reinvestigated. Reconfirming that the case against Wringer still stands will ease the pressure the Met, publicly and politically.

And he intends to sue, is that right?

DBDonald Bevon

Not when you're finished with him he won't.

DBDonald Bevan

Everyone is aware what a distinctive and enviable career oath you've carved out for yourself. But you screwed up. The idea is that we use your investigation as the basis for a new initiative. A team of dedicated personnel, re-examining other open cases. Hmm? That's your brief.

Dedicated personnel?

DBDonald Bevon

We may not have the manpower in terms of serving officers. We can still call upon a large number of retired detectives experience in serious crime.

Oh no. No, no, no, no.

DBDonald Bevan

Fully cognisant with practice and procedure at the time the offences were committed.

[desperate] Don, please don't do this to me.

DBDonald Bevan

Think of the advanced in forensics, offender profiling... We really have a wonderful opportunity to put a lot of these cases to bed.

Retired detectives. Do they have to have their own teeth?

[First on-screen appearance of Jack Halford]

UCOS. Unsolved Crime and Open Case Initiative.

[looking through the files] What did somebody call it? Don Bevan's love child. The Unsolved Crime and Waste of Time Initiative?

No, that would be UCAWOT. I know it's tricky the thought of working for someone you used to boss but if there's one thing I learned from you it was to respect people's abilities, not their rank. Plus they're all retired detectives and I don't know any of these people.

Ian Derby.

You know him?

Yeah. Dead.

Alan Evans.

Dead.

Er... DI John Farrelly. Oh, I know John. He works-

-Dead.

But he only left last December.

Heart attack in the sea off Malaga. Serves him right. The place is full of villians. 65% of CID officers are dead within five years of leaving the job. [continues to rummage through the profiles] Dead. Dead. Good as. Alive but he bores for England. Retired but currently under investigation by the CPS. Ditto, the DTI. Dead. Alive but don't leave him alone with your kids. Retired sick. Well, insane, really. Dead, dead... Would be if I got hold of him. Nope. I think you'd better advertise.

[Interviewing the candidates, first on-screen appearance of Brian Lane and Gerry Standing]

Ex-DI Brian Lane, Detective Superintendent Sandra Pullman.

Pullman? Sussex University. Accelerated entry, 1987. Bramshill, '92. DI, Murder Squad, '92 - '95. DCI, Armed Robbery Squad, '95 - '98.

So how's it been going Brian - retirement?

Oh, fantastic. Love it. Best thing I ever did. Get do what I want, when I want. Grandchildren, gardening, football, swimming, day trips... gardening, car, pets, dogs, the wife. Did I mention gardening?

Your days sound pretty full. I wouldn't have thought you'd want to come back.

I don't. Not as a cop. But as an investigative officer, technically a civilian, full access to files... when do we start?

[next candidate sits down - Gerry Standing]

Ah! An ahstray!

Uh, we'd rather you didn't.

But there's–

The squad will initially be quite small. Concentrating on murder cases, and then, depending on the success of the operation, expanding to encompass other–

It's her innit? Woof, woof, bang, bang.

[Sandra discussing candidates with Jack]

No, you may have worked with him [Brian Lane] but it's out of the question.

He's a first-class detective.

It's not possible, I know what happened to him.

No, no, you don't, trust me.

[looking at the other file] "Gerry Standing"?!

He's a thief-taker.

No! I only met him because I'd heard so much about him. I didn't think you were serious.

Do you want to do the job properly or do you just want to look nice?

S1 E7Talking To The Dead

DBDonald Bevan

Am I the only one here who knows how a police officer is meant to behave? Good God, this is not the 1970s - it's not even the 1980s! You can't verbal a suspect like you used to and expect to get away with it!

With all due respect, Don, it was working.

DBDonald Bevan

With no due respect, it wasn't. After you went round to his house the first time, Lombard was on high alert. He knew you were as much in the dark as the original team and moments before opening the door to you this evening, he phoned his solicitor on his mobile. He left the line open for the next hour and a half. His solicitor recorded the whole thing and he's itching to use it in an action against you for unlawful arrest, harassment, you name it!

[Bevan plays tape]

LOLombard [on tape]

[screaming] LET ME OUT!

JHJack Halford [on tape]

They can't hear you, Mr Lombard, you could scream your head off in here for, oh, 42 days...

[Bevan stops tape]

DBDonald Bevan

You thought the evaluation was a way of closing down the unit, but it wasn't. The evaluation was a routing assessment of your current status and you passed! Just! Now, if someone's looking for a reason to close down UCOS, you've handed them one on a plate! [to Sandra Pullman] And as for SO10, I think we can safely kiss that one goodbye.

SO10?

DBDonald Bevan

I expressly told you to drop this case.

It went against all my instincts as a police officer.

DBDonald Bevan

Yeah, well, once again your instincts have made you look very foolish, Sandra, and what's worse is that it made me look like a complete idiot for backing you as far as I have.

[to Sandra] You were getting promoted to SO10?

DBDonald Bevan

Now I'm going to have to spend the rest of tonight working out a way to persuade Lombard's solicitor to forget this and I'm going to spend all day tomorrow deciding what to do with you lot. Now, get out!

S4 E2God's Waiting Room

[Talking to Mary's Grave]

It was just as we'd imagined. What did you call them, God's Waiting Room? [laughs] It was that all right. A mausoleum to the living dead. People with all life crushed out of them. No... this is better. This is where I belong.

You know what's odd about this place?

No, but I'm sure you'll tell me.

There's no history of us. No photos. I've checked. I've been through every room, even your bedroom.

You went into my bedroom?

Not even one of your father. Now that did surprise me. I thought you'd have one of him, for sure. I've never understood that. That ability to be alone. That pride in your independence, that shuts everyone out. Even your own family. I had hoped when he died that we'd grow closer together but we've just moved further apart. Until, in the end, you were him. Another police officer rejecting me all over again.

I am trying, Mum.

I know. But we're too far apart to keep living this close. You can come and visit me when you want.

Yeah, yeah, I will. I promise.

You're not folding that right.

S4 E8Big Topped

[Sandra confronting her mother about the truth behind her father's death]

My dad. Your husband. Gordon. How did he die?

You know how he died. It was a heart attack.

Not according to this. [she shows her a death certificate] I found it amongst your things. "Carbon Monoxide inhalation." Or suicide, to be precise. So I presume that's what he shouldn't have done in the car.

You didn't find that in my things. It was in a sealed envelope. You were prying!

[angry and upset] And you've been lying! You've lied to me since I was 14. All that time, all those years, all those people I've met who must have known the truth, it makes me look like a complete idiot!

Welcome to the club.

Why didn't you tell me? Why have you never told me the truth?

He was your father.

You've had 30 years!

You loved him. How could I tell you? What good would it have done? He was your father.

[Sandra confronting Jack about the investigation into her father that led him to suicide]

So, Jack... you knew my dad? You investigated him and then he killed himself. So, all those years ago when you have me my break in the Murder Squad that's because you believed in equal opportunities was it? Cos you really rated me as a detective regardless of what everyone else thought.

[angry] Bollocks!

Guv'nor, shall we just calm down?

All those years, you never said one word. You lied to me.

I never lied.

[shouting] You lied by omission! Just because you didn't speak his name doesn't mean you weren't lying!

Sandra!

No! You lied to me and then you drove-

Your father killed a man. He killed a small-time pimp called Ian Randle in Canning Town. And he covered it up. I never told you and I never told your mother. There you are. Now you know. Your father was a good detective, very good. But he made a mistake, it might even have been accidental. But the cover-up wasn't. Anyhow, shortly before I was due to arrest him, I let him know that I knew. Because I thought he deserved that much. That was my mistake. And I'm sorry.

I don't believe you. I don't believe he was capable of that, because I knew him and I knew what he was like. He didn't do that?

[She storms off, Jack follows shortly]:

S8 E4Setting Out Your Stall

[Sandra's Mother deciding to leave]

Mum? Sorry I'm late. [sees her Mother's bags packed] I thought we had another day?

No, my train leaves in an hour.

But I was going to make dinner, look, I bought vegetables.

[laughs] No, perhaps I've had a lucky escape. [Sandra becomes annoyed] It was a joke, dear!

You don't have to go.

Oh I think I do. It was a nice idea but...

We're not ready.

You're not ready. [pause] And you're very busy, I mean, I can see that now.

[brushes it off, clearly upset] Okay, fine, I'll take you to the station.

I've booked a cab.

Of course you have.

[cuts to outside - Grace getting into the taxi]

Bye Mum, safe journey.

Sandra, you know where I am if you need me. But... don't leave it too late, darling.

[both clearly just as upset as each other, Sandra feeling guilty for the amount of negligence on her side]

S9 E1A Death In The Family

[Jack Halford's final appearance]

When did you find out?

A few weeks ago. It [the cancer] is in the liver. Nothing they can do.

But we're your friends!

I don't want any fuss.

BUT WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS!

Yes, you are. And I want you to remember me as I am. I want to go away to a place that's special to Mary [his wife] and me. Just me there, with her, and our memories.

When are you going?

ASAP. Will you do something for me, Brian? Don't tell anyone, not until after. And I don't want anyone to try and stop me or anyone coming after me or anyone trying to get in touch with me - it's just me and Mary, understand?

[he nods] Yeah.

Now get into that pub and put on a brave face.

I'm so sorry, Jack.

[Brian makes his way to the pub]

Brave face, Brian! And, mine's a large scotch!

[Jack stands in the rain knowing that his days are numbered, he then walks towards the pub for one last drink with the team he helped build]

S10 E3The Sins of a Father

SBScott Bunce

People tried to help. Family, friends. Even Psycho did his best. Mike was great. He...he really seemed to understand what me and Lauren was going through. He's one of the only coppers I ever met, who I actually got on with.

[surprised] Mike? Mike Fleming?

SBScott Bunce

Yeah. He was our family liaison officer.

[Meanwhile, in the observation room, Brian enters and hands a CCTV photo to Gerry. He realises he has made a huge mistake - Scott Bunce was indeed innocent after all]

To think I welcomed you to the team. I thought you'd be an asset to the investigation.

MFMike Flemming

It was an accident.

An accident that had seen an innocent man serve 16 years for a crime he didn't commit.

S10 E5Cry Me A River

Do you know a woman called "Laticia Hope"?

AGAngela Gold

Um, nope. Should I? Who is she?

A former prostitute.

AGAngela Gold

[laughs] Not really my line. Why?

Afraid I can't tell you that.

AGAngela Gold

[upset] You know, you've told me nothing up to now. All you do is ask me question after question and expect me to just sit here like a schoolgirl. I killed no-one!

Angela, my job isn't just all cold cruel analysis of evidence. Police use intuition too, of course we do. So actually I'm going to break a habit of a lifetime because, no, I don't think you are guilty.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's New Tricks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.