Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesGuy in Tech Corp commercial during Pit-Pat sketch (Jay Johnston): Fuckity fuck-fuck!!!
Honeymooner (Bob): Tri-cycles would be bi-cycles. Who's ever heard of a bi-cycle?
Jerry, the honeymoon crasher (David): Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend. Always in the way.
Jerry, the honeymoon crasher (David): Ooh. I gotta take a shit. Hey Todd, hand me that Hustler.
Kindly farmer in "The Joke: The Musical" (Jack Black): Don't stick your dick in these holes.
Larry Black, the forgetful soul singer (Bob): I need a reminder to look at my reminder!
Marshall, the 13th apostle (David): God, lemme ask you something: are you happy settling for omnipotence?
Pit-Pat ad agency representative (Bob): Look lady, I don't come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth.
Ronnie Dobbs (David): Y'all wear condoms on both your ears, I think it's funny. [Cough and groan]
Senator Howell Tankerbell (Bob): Gentlemen, I propose that this arts funding is like a milking machine and unless we shut it down, it's gonna rip our dicks right off!
Senator Howell Tankerbell (Bob): I wish I could be everywhere that people are doin' art, so that I could keep the public from gettin' aroused...or titillated...or otherwise confused by the counterculture.
Senator Howell Tankerbell (Bob): I've got a naked puppet doin' a lewd, lascivious Fandango on the lap of a full-grown man! I got a fella over here, he's churnin' butter. A lady over here dippin' candles...it's like a pioneer porn shop in here! Close 'em down, boys!
Supermodel Calling Service commercial voice (Bob): Thousands of hot models are waiting to talk to you around the clock!