“The Dream Sequence Always Rings Twice” quotes from Moonlighting

Tonight, broadcasting takes a giant leap... backward.

Gather the kids, the dog, grandma... and lock them in another room. And sit back and enjoy this very special episode of Moonlighting.

David

[...] I don't know about you, but I for one, I for one, hit my knees every night and thank the man upstairs that there is a little bit of dishonesty left in this otherwise sunny world. You just think about that. That's all I have to say.

David

Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, there's a page missing out of my copy of the script.

David

You look at everything like... a woman first and then a person second.

Maddie

What does that mean?

David

I said what I meant and I meant what I said.

Maddie

You're an animal.

David

And you're a sexist.

Maddie

What?!

David

A sexist!! You know what a sexist is?

Maddie

Of course I know what a sexist is, I am looking at one.

David

So am I!!

(overlapping) I am not speaking to you - Are too!- I am not. -Are too!!!- Am not!!- Are too!!- Am not!!!

Maddie

Not another word, not another sound, not another beep until we get back to the office!!

David

Beep.

David

(on the telephone) Men's room?

Maddie

I am not a sexist!

David

Not only are you a sexist, but you are the sexiest sexist that's ever been in my good fortune to satirize.

Maddie

Satirize?

David

Satirize, scrutinize, fantasize, etc etc etc. (Maddie slams down receiver)

Name's Chance... Chance Cash Johnny Rick Lonesome Shane McCoy. You can call me Zach.

We have to get back to the real world!

No, never. I'll never give up my dreams. 'Cause if you stop dreaming you're just wasting eight hours a night.

That was the first time I saw Rita. She was the kind of dame that makes a man grateful he's a man. She looked like she was misunderstood. Me, I wanted to understand her, like I've never understood any woman before. Come to think of it, I never have understood any woman before.

You were pretty hot tonight.

You, too.

You got a great lip.

You got, too.

Drink?

Absolutely. Eat, too. (in voiceover) That night was the beginning. We would see more of each other, then all of each other. But this is television, so we won't get into that.

(in voiceover) I always play my horn with my shirt off. Late at night, by an open window, next to a flashing neon light. I know I look good that way.

I guess the only way to get rid of Jerry is... to get rid of Jerry. You know what I mean?

(in voiceover) I didn't wanna say No, she'd think I was stupid. But I didn't wanna say Yes either, 'cause she'd think that I wanted to. Besides, I really wasn't listening, I was too busy trying to look down the sheet.

(in voiceover) And then she was gone. I couldn't believe she'd walk out. But I knew she'd be back. She left her clothes behind.

(in voiceover) And that's when we started to plan the murder. What to wear, what to bring. In murder, as in life, planning is everything.