Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries · Season 1
Can I offer you a drink?
Perhaps... just the one.
What about babes of your own?
Er, no. No, we were never blessed.
To all the kids who’ve been through the wringer then, Inspector Robinson.
You might as well call me Jack. Everyone else does.
Very well, Jack. And you may call me Phryne, although hardly anyone else does.
[Jack has made Hugh search the women.]
Can’t you take pity on him? Make me an honorary constable.
Uh, no thanks. Collins could do with the practice. Has he asked Miss Williams to the Fireman and Policeman’s Ball yet?
Not that I’m aware of. Dotty wouldn’t keep that to herself.
He tells me he’s working on it.
[Holding out some potato on a fork to Jack.] Try this gratin, Jack.
You’re not taking the situation seriously.
I haven’t taken anything seriously since 1918.
[Jack eventually leans forward and eats the potato off the fork. He leans back and smiles.]
Shouldn’t you be clapping me in irons?
Too much paperwork.
If I feed you some more, may I see what’s in that folder?
[She holds out another forkful to Jack. He takes the fork and the dish and Phryne takes the file.]
I…I was wondering if…I mean, would you… [He laughs nervously.] I suppose what I’m trying to ask is would you…
Oh, for goodness sake, Hugh Collins, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to the Fireman and Policeman’s Ball?
No. I mean, yes! Yes, but no, I’m supposed to ask you.
Well, we could all die waiting for that to happen.
I don’t know who has the more fanciful imagination; Rogers for coming up with it, or you for working it out.
Jack! Me, obviously.
[Two of the suspects are homosexual, which is a crime in 1928 Australia, and Jack must enforce the law.]
I am a servant of the law, not its master.
Well in this case, the law is an ass!
. . .
[Later, Jack presents Phryne with the evidence of her friend Charlie's homosexuality.]
I found these plates under the floorboards of Leonard Stevens' apartment.
What do you want me to do with them?
Have them incinerated.
I thought you said your hands were tied.
[with a wry smile] Yes. But yours are not.
How many shots were fired?
Uh, three. Three shots were fired in total, sir. Two in the victim and one hit Miss Fisher’s car when she was drawn outside by the gunfire.
How very unlike her.
At this stage, the only benefit of your helping hand is that I might have a walk-up start when it comes to investigating your eventual murder.
I’m not convinced my heroic constable deserves all the credit. But as I’ve forbidden him to do your bidding, I may need to escort you home myself.
Thank you.
I’ve had my fair share of strike action.
What, the police strike of ’23?
Mmm. Shoulder to shoulder. A lot of good men lost their jobs. I was one of the lucky ones.
I would have picked you as more of a fence sitter.
It’d be a tactical error to think you had me pegged just yet, Miss Fisher.
I’m very glad to hear it.
It was poison. I’d bet my hat on it.
[Watching Phryne put her hat on.] I’m not sure it’d suit me.
What evidence do you have that it was me who broke into the bookshop?
An Hispano-Suiza parked outside at the time.
If a tree falls in a forest...
You were very likely somewhere close by wielding the axe.
Well... I didn’t break the window. That was done by a man in a black trench coat with a hat – the same man who attacked me when I tried to stop him stealing a book.
He attacked you?
Well, I disturbed him. And he ran off with the book. I gave chase, and he took a shot at me, so I did the only thing I could in the circumstances.
You called for help?
I stabbed him in the shoulder.
Oh.
Impatience is your middle name.
Virtue was already taken.
Sorry I’m late. Constable Collins asked me to send his apologies. His football game ended in a brawl. He ended up arresting half the opposing team.
Ah, I wondered when you'd be back.
Did you miss me?
I never get a chance to miss you. It feels as if you're in my office every second day. To what do I owe the pleasure?
A development in our case.
Our case?
I expect the actors let slip about the ghost.
They did. Don’t tell me you suspect the ghost. Might be a little difficult to clap an apparition in iron.
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