Tubbs quotes from Miami Vice

Gina

Where's your partner?

Tubbs

I think he went to the dentist.

Gina

Who's got the toothache, Crockett or Brenda?

Tubbs

Look here, Toyotas, Datsuns, Hondas. Even crooks are looking for good gas mileage.

Gina

Who's got the toothache, Crockett or Brenda?

Tubbs

I make it a point not to keep tabs on my partner's social register.

Tubbs

Sonny, who was Mike Orgel?

Crockett

Don't run around me, Tubbs.

Tubbs

What's gotten into you, man? You got a problem, and I'm just tryin' to help you with it.

Crockett

Is that what you call it? What'd you do, pull Freed's jacket?

Tubbs

Look, I wouldn't have had to pull his jacket if you'd have just been straight with me.

Crockett

It's none of your business.

Tubbs

Excuse the hell out of me. We happen to be involved in an operation. And if something is going down between you and our middleman, then I need to know it!

Crockett

There's nothing going down. You don't need to know anything. And where the hell do you come off demanding that I bare my soul to you? You're my partner, not my priest!

Tubbs

Hey, hey, hey! Don't be copping no attitude, man, 'cause I don't need to hear it. You wanna drop the friendship, and just be partners, so be it.

Crockett

So be it.

Tubbs

Solid.

Crockett

[About Mike] I didn't stick up for him. He was my friend. I failed him. I couldn't find a way to handle it.

Tubbs

You had the right feelings.

Crockett

(frustrated) Yeah, but I didn't do anything about it.

Tubbs

What could you do, man? You didn't know how. They don't teach that in the academy. You learn it in the street, in the world, in our hearts. Where I know you have it.

Crockett

I don't know.

Tubbs

You better know. 'Cause I don't pass up beautiful girls like Michelle for nothin' less.

Crockett

You know something, Tubbs?

Tubbs

What?

Crockett

You ain't half bad.

Tubbs

Ditto. Now you... You can drive your tired partner home.

Crockett

Come on.

Crockett

Vietnam, Cambodia, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Everglades. Bet I've soaked up more swamp than Elvis.

Tubbs

Look on the bright side of things, man. At least nobody's trying to make shoes out of you. Yet.

Crockett

If the supplier can't deliver...

Tubbs

Then Rivillas' customers start to shiver.

Crockett

This guy is a nut case.

Tubbs

Yeah? Maybe he even keeps a pet alligator at his place of residence.

Please, say hello to Lorraine.

Tubbs

Big deal. A computer. Every 12-year-old kid in Miami has one.

Tubbs

[On a computer, "Lorraine"] This thing's a little weird.

Crockett

If it's only a little weird, it definitely won't work.

Crockett

She said she wanted to help us.

Tubbs

She would have said anything, man, to feed that monkey. Anything.

Crockett

Man, you're taking this whole thing way too light. This isn't like sneaking into the drive-in. This is a sacred religious ceremony for these people, and if they make you for an outsider, you don't know what they're gonna do.

Tubbs

What are they gonna do, cast a spell on me?

Crockett

I hate the waiting, feel like a character in a Becket play.

Tubbs

Since when do you know Becket?

Charlie Becket, works down at the shoeshine, writes plays on the side.

Tubbs

She’s too conservative for you.

Crockett

I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

Tubbs

You're losing it, Sonny man. Remember what you told me about edges and dead cops?

Crockett

I say a lot of things, I talk too much.

Danielle

I was hoping you would be someone else. Your partner.

Tubbs

You're messing with my best friend, and I don't like it.

Danielle

What do you want me to do? Make him not like me?

Tubbs

I think you're a bad dream, baby. I just wanna wake up and find you gone.

Danielle

What if I don't want to be gone, Rico?

Tubbs

That's easy. I know what you are. If you don't split, I'll have every newspaper, every wire service on your case so fast you won't know where to look. You'll be out in the cold, baby, with no place warm in sight. Have a nice trip, home.

Tubbs

You are a nightmare.

Danielle

You have a big mouth, Tubbs. You told me so yourself.