Jon quotes from Miami 7

Jon missed a step, and someone was a bit flat on the second chorus. (referring to Paul)

I started thinking about lunch and I completely lost it.

(sarcastically) Thanks, Paul.

You’re welcome, Tina.

But apart from that, I thought we were okay.

But who cares if we’re okay or not?

What are you talking about, Hannah?

Yeah, I mean it’s not as if we’re in danger of getting another gig or anything.

Yeah, you’re right. We haven’t had a gig for months.

Well, it doesn’t help having a manager who couldn’t give a broken wind about us.

You’re right. Danny Parsons is useless. Remember when we sign with him. He promised us big venues performing in front of thousands of people.

Yeah. He said we’d be travelling in the world meeting top celebs. Manicure and a facial for nothing.

Oh, Rachel.

I’d have had it done anyway but it’s not the point.

Yeah, and now we’re getting thrown out of the church hall, to make way for the place to see modernist lunchtime discussion group.

Mmm. Lunch time.

Still, it could be worse.

How?

Or we could all be stuck in a lift at the top of a burning skyscraper.

Oh.

Hi, Jon.

All right, Jon. What’s the matter?

I went for a job interview.

And?

Got some bad news.

You didn’t get the job?

Worse.

What?

I did get the job.

Oh, that’s brilliant.

Hannah, no it’s not.

I've got a week’s training then I’ve gotta move to London.

What about the group?

Yes! I’ve done it! I’m a genius! Genius! Yes, I am a genius! What?

Jon would have appreciated this. All the seats numbered in nice neat rows.

Hannah, I really hate flying.

Rach. Just think of it like being in the number 37 bus, or except you’re 30,000 feet up in the air and locked in.

Oh. Cheers, Han.

What are we waiting for? Come on! Let’s move it!

Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The straight passenger has now arrived and we’ll be on our way in a few moments.

(referring to Jon) There’s always some muffin who’s late.

Jon!

Hi.

What are you doing? We thought you weren’t coming.

I couldn’t let you a lot go on your own, could I? Who knows what kind of trouble you’d get into it? Anyway, that place was doing my head in and I mean anyone would crack after 30 whack like oops in an hour. (chuckles)

Okay, guys. That’s it. This is the end of the road.

But where’s the hotel?

Right there. The Florida Paradise Hotel. (chuckles)

If this is paradise, I’d hate to see what the hell looks like.

What did you expect?

I said no more imagining.

Come on, guys. It can’t be that bad.

Good evening. You must be the S Club 7. Welcome to Florida.

Hi.

My name is Marvin Borlotti and this is my brother Howard.

Hello, governors. Go-blimey. Have a cup of Rosie Lee and smack me on a bus with a kipper.

Okay, okay. Welcoming ceremony is now completed. All right. You’re gonna be sleeping across the yard. You’re up at 7:30, work starts at 8am and you better be there on time, or there’ll be big trouble. Nice meeting you. Marvin, get out of that ridiculous outfit.

Up at 7:30?

Work starts at 8am.

Trouble.

What if that job at clean eases is still open?

Go on.

I can’t. It’s too cruel.

Come on, Marvin, you remember the song? You gotta be cruel to be cruel.

To be kind.

What’s that?

The song goes you got to be cruel to be kind.

Well, I like the other song better. Now, GO ON!

(moans)

What’s going on?

What is that?

I don’t know, but it could definitely use a base line.

Rise and shine, move them out.

Has it started yet?

Nope!

Where have you been, Rach?

I went to phone for some help, see if we could get towed back.

What did they say?

They said we could be here for about three weeks.

Three weeks?

(nodding) Mmm.

Who did you phone, Rachel?

I phoned the AA!

Owww!

But we’re in America, you divvy!

Well, it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

What is the point of all this?

We’re gonna try positive thinking and get the car going.

You know it’s not going to work.

What do we think about?

Think of a car engine revving up.

No. Not yet. Everybody thinking.

Yes.

What a waste of time.

Just tumor her.

Oh, come on. Think! Think!

Vroom, vroom!

Think! Know more! No, louder! Everybody, louder! All right, now!

Go! Go!

Yay!

CUT! CUT! (blocking her band mates from wetting her with squirt guns) You said you wouldn’t soak me. You promised.

Not such of a promise, more like a gullible test.

I’m sorry to inform to Miss Stevens, but you failed. (goofing around)

Yeah, but it’s not funny. I could’ve drowned, could’ve scarred, I’m soaking wet. Do I look all right?

Yes, of course you do.

Like a film star.

I do.

Yeah.

Who?

The Little Mermaid.

Come on, Rach, you look pretty on camera.

Do I?

Yeah, look. (He shows Rachel)

Oh, yeah, you’re right. The camera really loves me.

Yeah, almost as much as you do.

We are in Florida. I mean, what if there was a hurricane.

Jo, the only violet winds we’re in danger is when Bradley eat Cuban food.

So, how are you getting on with that song?

Yeah, not bad. I’m gonna call it. It’s over.

Nice one. You know what’s the word.

Well, that’s as far as I’ve got.

Jon, we’ve got to have this finished by tonight.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Don’t panic. All I need is a word that runs with misery then I’ll be on my way.

Misery? That’s easy. Misery, misery, misery. (thinking) Okay, I’ve got it. How about misery?

Bradley, that’s the same word.

I know, but it rhymed, didn’t it?

She is amazing. How does she do that?

It’s a skill like speaking French or juggling.

Yeah, but I can juggle and speak French.

Yeah, but can you do both at the same time? Well, there you are then.

Yeah, apparently.

Look, don’t get into a state. It’ll happen when it happens.

Yeah, but when, though?

Guys, she’s bringing him over.

Hey, everyone! This is Taylor! He and his mates got to give us the game. Good idea?

Bad idea.

It’s alright. There’s only 6 of them.

Oh. Good idea. I’ll cheer you on for my lounger.

Okay.

Yeah. Why not?

We’re gonna whip your butts! Right after you explain the rules.

What can I say? I mean her name’s Tanya. She’s at college, um, she’s a music student. She’s very bright, very funny, she’s very nice and… Well, we just seem to talk about everything for hours, I mean it’s like I’ve known her for years.

See? I told you it would happen.

Hey, Howard. I hope you’re hungry.

Shut it, kid.

Hey. You want some ketchup with that, Howard?

Yes!

Ow!

Ouch!

Nobody could be in as much pain as I am.

I can.

Nobody can be as tired as I am.

I can.

Look, guys. We’ve actually got some free time. What are we gonna do?

Like a plane.

Yeah. Or we could have some fun.

Fun. Yeah. I remember that one. What does it mean again?

I called you today, just to hear you say

I wanna tell you the things I’ve seen

I, oh. I really miss you, yes I do, yeah

I writing to say, I had a wonderful day

I wanna tell you the weather is fine

I, oh. I really miss you, yes I do, yeah

It’s great having them back, isn’t it.

(sobs)

Yeah, it’s great to be back, isn’t it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think you need to be heading left, and uh, right, or maybe north or possibly south.

But isn’t it poor or starving at the moment?

Okay then, yeah. We’ll take the first port, second starboard and then straight ahead.

Yeah, but which way is port, or which way is starboard?

Or port must be the gardener’s land, mustn’t it?

Well, which way is that?

Uh-oh.

Wait a minute! What’s that up ahead?

Just some kind of big mist! Oh, no!

I can’t believe you’re making fun out of us when even you are too scared to go in the loo because of your cockroach.

Yeah, but our cockroach is bigger than your cockroach.

Can we focus please? We’re telling Howard that we’re not happy sharing our accommodation with that thing.

I feel sorry for the poor little creature. I’m glad I didn’t tell you about the one in the kitchen.

The kitchen?!

Oh my God! There was one in the kitchen?

And you didn’t tell us.

I didn’t tell anyone. Well, apart from one customer.

You told the customer? Hannah, what happens if you tell someone else? What happens if the authorities get to hear about this?

What authorities?