Mad quotes

Bad Idea #317: Black hole bungee jumping.

Whoo! [sucks into a black hole, releases] See, I told you it was safe! [a meteor slams into him]

[seeing The Land Before Time characters are skeletons] I have to say, I'm not a fan of this one.

Bad Idea #827: Strawberry scented sleeping bags.

I know we wouldn't just walk 3 miles to find out there's no strawberries in that sleeping bag.

Hey, look; the next cartoon! [zips away from the animals]

[grabbing the interrogator] You eat garbage like Oscar, too? [shoves dirt into the interrogator's mouth] Here, eat garbage! Eat garbage! More garbage!

[mouthful] Ma, I can't stop now! I'm at level 63! Also, I can't feel my jaw.

I gotta get high speed internet.

Hey, I'm Nicholas Cage. I'll bounce back.

Engage feet rockets! [blasts off, but malfunctions] Oh, no! I forgot to get feet gas! [explodes]

Can we please get normal chairs?

Hey, everyone! I'm Johnson! Sorry I'm late.

But if you're Johnson, then who's...

Wait. What just happened here?

[draws a well with his magic marker] I said "draw awell", not "draw a well". [draws Mona Lisa instead]

You can actually. I can breathe underwater.

Remember, no loud noises. [a woman sneezes, other man drops pots and pans, third man plays drums] I said, no loud noises! [this starts an avalanche until a goalie guy stops it]

Oh, come on! We've already set up!

Sorry, old pal, we'll have you back next week.

No way; Lion-O. This is the third time you've bumped us. We're playing! And a one, and a two... [band plays]

No, Mumm-Ra! It's time for Jimmy Fallon! You will not deprive America in his huge musical impersonations! [attacks Mumm-Ra and band members]

Bad Idea #894: The Launch Box!

I have tuna!

I got ham and cheese!

I got... [reveals to be a rocket, launching him into the air]

Shucks. I was asking him if he wanted to trade.