HCSir Hugo Carey-Holden
[to Lovejoy] Well, thank you for entertaining my wife. It doesn't take much these days.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
GRGervais Rackham
Ah, Lovejoy, your foul little plan seems to be working!
Are you arresting me or what?
DGDS Graham Bentley
I think right now it falls into the or what category?
[to Brian] Do you give a discount for dust?
DGDS Graham Bentley
I'm determined to nick you, Lovejoy.
I'm big on people with principles.
Nothing like an old curse to add a bob or two to the price.
Will you meet him?
Why not? Looks like rain.
Rain stops play.
MCMajor Chatfield
Lovejoy, I'll be honest.
Major, must you?
WWhiteman
We'd like you to do something for us, Lovejoy.
What's in it for me? I don't work for God, Queen, or country... only for cash!
WWhiteman
[to Jenkins] Tell him what's in it for him.
JJenkins
[Menacingly] Good health.
I knew it would be one of those smart-ass answers.
WWhiteman
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
Sorry.
HCHarry Catapodis
What I could do with a half million pounds right now!
I know the feeling.
[as Marcelis is fussing with his thinning hair] Pull yourself together, Marcel, your hair's too far gone even for an act of God.
Have I ever let you down before?
CCCyril Catchpole
Yes!
That was then. This is now!
[to Miki] Quit that Seven Samurai stuff or I'm off the case!
Eric, I don't know whether to kiss or salute you.
Well, I know which one I'd prefer.
[Aside to audience] I mean, who wants a Lovejoy when you can have a Utrillo?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lovejoy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.