TV show quotes
Cantler -- the geneticist with the bestseller?
Two bestsellers and four wives. Apparently the professor likes the ladies--
[Goren looks pointedly at Eames, who grins.]
--and vice-a versa.
You know us. We like men who play with the building blocks of life.
What's wrong with you that makes you want to destroy someone good like Erica?
[chuckles] I'm just a natural born skeptic.
That would make it two coincidences.
One more and it's a conspiracy.
The Tuxedo Hill Group is a special purpose partnership capitalized by third-party equity to hedge certain Mattawin assets.
[Goren and Eames look at each other.]
We have no idea what you just said.
[Goren picks up a witness's lap dog.]
That's a cute dog.
[Goren shows it to Eames.]
Isn't it cute? What's his name?
Ebit.
Ebit. Is that because he's such a itty-bitty little doggy?
Diamonds and dogs. All the best friends a girl needs.
Don't you read your own financial statements?
I'll let you in on corporate America's dirty secret. Financial statements are Rubik's cubes. Confusion and mystery are built into the design. They are meant to be inscrutable, unknowable.
Then how does a guy like me know what stocks to buy?
Ask your Aunt Minnie. She knows as much as anyone. The market is twenty percent perception, eighty percent emotion. Do you think that high-tech crashed because people stopped using computers? No, it was fear.
It was a bubble--
My dear detective, it's all a bubble. The Dow, the NASDAQ, the AMEX, it's all one big bubble that floats on the dreams and ambitions of every American. It may contract, it may expand, but it will never burst. Because of the ingenuity of the American capitalist.
[Crowley tries to strike a deal with Goren.]
No! No, look! You're going to need me!
And what can you offer to make up for the misery you prepared to wreak on thousands of people who trusted you? What fanatics do to us with guns and bombs, you tried to do with an accounting trick! Don't you think for a minute that you deserve anything better than they do.
[Crowley is taken away.]
I'm going to make an announcement to the press. And then I'm gonna call my broker.
[Goren squeezes the sores on a corpse and produces pus. Eames winces.]
You must have been so much fun in biology class.
[Goren rolls the pus between his fingers and sniffs it.]
Actually my biology teacher, Mr. Dixon, didn't think I was much fun at all.
[Eames nods and fails to look surprised.]
[On the subject of drugs]
I don't know about that, man.
You don't know about fry sticks, clickums, wet daddies?
[impressed.] Damn.
[Deakins watches a pothead witness leave the conference room.]
So that's what a brain looks like on embalming fluid.
I need to use my most important investigative tool. My library card.
[Two suspects discussing the dead mortician.]
Harry, he got killed over the weekend. Right in the funeral home.
God has a very peculiar sense of humor.
The fake boils, the crucifixion pose, it was all just to throw us off.
It's impressive.
It's demented.
It worked.
Pacemakers have to be removed before cremation. Otherwise, the lithium batteries explode. Gives off a toxic fume and could damage the cremation chamber.
Yeah, I heard silicon implants had to be removed. My buddy Martinelli in the 3-7 married a stripper.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Law & Order: Criminal Intent pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
