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S7 E11

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia · Season 7, Episode 11

Frank and Asian Tourist in “Thunder Gun Express”

[Frank after stealing a tour boat] Charlie. He's my buddy. We sleep together, we hang out together. Once I pooped in the bed, I blamed it on him. [laughs] One time the guys got hooked on crack, it was really crazy. Well, they found a baby in a dumpster. They wanted to make some money with the baby, but nobody would buy the baby because it was white, so they had to turn it brown. We were fighting over the sword. And just about when we were about to hit each other with the sword, social services came in, thought we were killing the baby.

ATAsian Tourist

I...I don't understand this tour.

Charlie wrote this musical. Oh man, it was really funny. I played a troll on the musical. And it's called The Nightman Cometh. I could sing you my song, if you like. You gotta--you gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole. Yeah, and, uh... But you gotta pay to get in. I was saying, "soul." He thought I was saying, "boy's hole." One of the things I like doing most is banging whores. I, uh, I go out and bang a lot of whores. Listen, here's the thing. I'm going to have to jump off here. So you guys enjoy the rest of the tour on your own, okay?

ATAsian Tourist

How are we supposed to get back to our tour bus?

That's your problem. Welcome to Philly.

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