[to fleeing suspect] I swear to God, if I popped a stitch, I'm going to shove that dog up your ass and let him bark his way up your throat.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Voice over] We forget sometimes how much the world can hurt. It can hurt people we love, people we don't, people caught in the middle, even people who would give anything if they could just never ever get hurt again, but sometimes the hurt can't be avoided. It's just coming at us and can't be stopped. It's in us and can't be seen, or it's lying next to us in the dark, waiting but sometimes it doesn't come at all. Sometimes we get this other thing that flutters down out of nowhere and stays just long enough to give us hope. Sometimes rarely, barely, but just when we need it the most and expect it the least, we get a break.
This is like a trailer for a movie called "Geriatric Marshal."
[to the gang member from earlier in the episode] You're like a crossword puzzle with B.O.
[voiceover] There's a researcher who claims he can tell if a couple is going to break up based on how they talk to each other. An ability I've had since I was five, without NIH funding. I just looked up at my parents and thought "nope." It took a six figure gambling debt, an alcoholic spiral and an FBI manhunt before they finally came to the same conclusion. It can take many forms but the worst are the ones who should have known better. The ones who rushed in, got hitched and now they don't know how to get out of it. They look like marmots, trapped in a cage.
Carson Miller, last spotted in Bolivia. Baltimore FBI thinks he's still the boss, running things from down there. Wow, gone seven years, ruling by pure fear from another hemisphere. I'd love to have power like that some day.
But wouldn't you rather that power came from love, not from fear?
I don't even understand the question.
Wow, Stan. Opening day at Ascot?
I have a meeting with Allison Pearson.
[Mary shakes her head in confusion]
The newly appointed U.S. Marshall for our district.
Right! Right, the political hack who licked D.C. butt like a creamsicle so she could tell actual marshals how to do a job she can't comprehend, let alone be in charge of. That Allison Pearson.
[Marshall nods in confirmation]
You two are going to be gone all day, right?
No, but it's okay. I think your meeting with Allison is tomorrow.
Is it?
Oops. That's good! It gives you time to buy the top hat and monocle.
[to Mary] Were you drunk when they covered witness protection at the academy?
[Mary and Marshall were interviewing a suspect who made a remark about keeping a DVR he stole. Mary turns around and tries to draw her gun] No, you can't shoot him.
This is so stupid!
Okay, let's take a moment here and think this through. Henry set it all up, had Lebowski there break in, steal everything and the box of photos to intentionally create a security breach so that we would what, be forced to move them. Why?
I have no idea. Here's what I do know: I don't care! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of needy, crazy, stupid liars. Seriously, I can't take it anymore! I grew up with them, I live with them, I work with them, and no matter how fast I run or far I go, they breed and come after me! It's like a zombie movie, except the only scary part is that it never ends!
How'd that feel?
Really good!
Anything else?
No, I think I hit it all.
Ready?
Ready. Thanks!
De nada.
I like driving at night.
Me too.
I remember being with my dad when I was six, seven. He'd bundle us all up at bedtime and take off for someplace. My brothers and I in the back, half asleep, mom and dad up front. Nobody talking. Just the sound of the road in the dark. Aren't you going to say something funny and mean that'll blow holes in me?
It sounds nice. My dad had this sweet tooth. Kicked in sometimes late at night. My mom would be getting sloshed, gearing up for a fight, and we'd slip out. Go to this all night place for ice cream. Mostly to get away from her. That and I think he liked being with me. Just the two of us, driving around in the dark singing to the radio.
I'll bet he did. I cannot imagine you were a dull child.
CClaudia
Mary, are you going back east?
No, this has been such a wonderful, life changing experience, I'm going to derail my whole career and join WITSEC in Albuquerque. Please.
Freud said there are no jokes.
What?
You were using sarcasm to express your true feelings.
There's something weird about the air here.
That's the lack of pollution.
What, it's like this all the time? I don't know, might be worth sticking around to see these two break up. Should be in about a week.
Stan, I'm telling you, snap her up.
Is this some kind of Stockholm syndrome?
[voiceover] I pride myself on being able to tell when a relationship won't work, and normally I love being right more than anything. More than Blue Moon beer, Exxon on Main Street, food smothered in mole sauce, but sometimes it's good to be wrong.
[voiceover] My dad once said time kills everything; hope, health, dreams, even love. He told me this on my birthday. I'd just turned six. Then he gave me my present, a pet rock, which I later used in an incident I'd regret. I'm not sure I got it at the time, but I get it now: everything we love is eventually murdered by the hands of time.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's In Plain Sight pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.