Claudius and Antonia in “Reign of Terror”

[after being asked by Antonia to hide a letter for Tiberius inside his history of Carthage] Well, I suppose I could, but I don't want to give him this copy. It's got elephants drawn all over it.

You are the biggest fool any mother was ever punished with. Who cares about your stupid history of Carthage? Nobody's going to read it anyway, and certainly not Tiberius. The only way you'd get him to read it is if you drew naked women all over it, and then he'd only look at the pictures!