Drusus and Tiberius in “Family Affairs”

A man should keep himself clean, not have slaves do it.

And how's he supposed to scrape his own back?

He gets his brother to do it.

If he hasn't got a brother?

He gets his son.

If he hasn't got a son?

Gets his friend.

And if he hasn't got a friend?

Then he should go and hang himself.

I've tried it. Better to have a slave scrape your back.