Hung quotes

Ray

[voice-over] What happened to my life? I used to be a big deal. I used to be going somewhere. Now all I ever seem to do is try not to drown.

Jessica

I am a little shallow. But I am deep enough to admit it. I'm much deeper than people think. And I'm only shallow because I choose to be. I am a beauty queen, Ray. A homecoming, cheerleading, stupid ass beauty queen!

Fear. It's a common stumbling block. But the way to overcome it is to acknowledge it. Validate it. And keep on going. Damn the torpedoes!

Jessica

God, you were magical. In high school you were a king. You were beautiful and...and athletic, and talented and...and smart and popular. And hung!

Ray

What am I now, Jessica? What am I now?!

Jessica

Now you're just hung!

Tanya

[referring to Lenore] You'll be like another product that she can recommend to her clients. I haven't talked to her yet, but I really think she might go for it. What do you think?

Ray

I think you're insane. I think I'm insane, I think this whole plan is nuts.

Tanya

Ray...

Ray

I also think I'm broke, my ex-wife is up my ass, and hell, I want my kids back. So yeah, what the hell. Go for it. I always wanted to be a product when I grew up.

Tanya

The point is, we have to think big. I know we might have to start with baby steps, but my goal is for us to be pulling down a couple thousand dollars a night.

Ray

You think I'm that good?

Tanya

Maybe if you work on your technique a little bit...a little bit.

Ray

My technique is fine, Tanya. I've been pleasing women for decades now. You're not my only screamer.

Tanya

Ray, I cannot be partners with someone who hates women.

Ray

Hey hey hey, I love women, Tanya. But Lenore is a control-freak, hickey-sucking pain in my ass.

Ray

You were gonna invite that guy in for tea?

Tanya

Sometimes tea is just tea, Ray.

Ray

Not in your world.

Ray

[voice-over] I'd been a jock, student leader, professional ballplayer, an educator. Is this really the material from which male prostitutes are made?

Ray

I don't know if I really feel comfortable doing Molly.

Tanya

Why the hell not?

Ray

Uh, just...I...she's not really my type.

Tanya

Not your type? What's your type, Ray?

Ray

She's just not exactly what I was expecting.

Tanya

What were you expecting?

Ray

I don't know, just, you know, someone who looks like they're sexually active.

Tanya

You mean somebody you want to be sexually active with. So insulting! Happiness Consultants does not discriminate. Not every customer is going to be some perfect big-breasted ten.

Jemma

Why is it so hard for you to say 'I love you'?

Ray

Why do you want me to say it so bad? Look, I just can't help but wonder why you'd want to ruin such a perfectly beautiful moment on a perfectly beautiful beach with all this fucked up, artificial shit. I mean, what am I, a goddamn dancing monkey here?

Ray

I just wish that in some crazy, long-shot version of this universe, that you would stay here with me...and not vanish from existence from my life.

Jemma

But Randall, I have a boyfriend.

Ray

And I respect that. And I respectfully don't care.

Ray

[voice-over] In two years, no one came to my games. Now, here we were in the worst losing streak of my life, and my ex-wife, my two kids, and my pimp were all sitting up there, side by side.

Ray

My name's Ray.

Jemma

More...tell me more.

Ray

No.

Jemma

Please?

Ray

No.

Jemma

I'll pay you...lots.

Ray

What do you think I am, a whore?

Jemma

Yeah. Yes, you're a whore.

Ray

Look, I'm saying, uh...I'd like to date you, Jemma.

Jemma

So, you want me to, um, go on a real date with you and, like, then maybe I have sex with you and maybe I don't?

Ray

Well, I think we're a little beyond the maybe part, but, uh...

Jemma

Ah, Ray Drecker, you know when you get all soft and serious it's...it's very hard to turn you down.