TV show quotes
You know, this isn't easy for me either. Everything's all switched around. I'm not usually the one who's driving, Frank; you are. And I'm not used to looking at the right side of your face, I'm used to looking at the left side.
[turning to the side] How's this? Now you can look at the back side of my face.
You know, I'm tough with you, you hate me. I'm nice to you, you hate me.
I had the stroke; I almost died. I'm supposed to be a different person, huh? I'm supposed to treat people better?
I'm not people; I'm your partner.
Oh, you're my partner. I sit at a desk. I am of absolutely no use to you and I'm your partner. I watch my weight. I watch my diet. I watch my blood pressure. Every 8 hours, no matter where I am, or what I'm doing, I hafta take a little white pill. If I don't follow the rules, I die. I'm not going to treat you differently. I won't. 'Cause that's not who I am. And who I am is all I have left.
Have you ever been in prison, Meldrick?
What? You mean as a prisoner?
Yeah.
No.
I have.
How come the more I know about you Bayliss, the less I wanna know? So 'fess up. What were you in the pokey for? Drunk driving, date rape, pedophilia?
No.
So, what?
I protested human rights violations in El Salvador.
Of course.
I was 18, 19.
So how much time did you spend in jail for protesting human rights violations in El Salvador?
I was in the holding cell for two nights.
Two nights? That don't exactly count as hard time.
They were very long nights.
So why didn't you post bail?
My dad refused to come get me.
Okay, that's harsh.
Yeah, my dad had very set ideas about life.
Well at least I hope you stiffed him on Father's Day.
Every chance I got.
I just want you to know that I'm here for you. And if you want a hug, I'd be happy to give you one.
A hug?
Yeah.
Do you and Lewis hug?
Yeah.
A lot?
No, not a lot.
But enough.
What do you mean?
Well, do you want Lewis to hug you more?
Forget I brought this up.
No, no, no. You brought up the hugging thing.
All we need is a couple of facts. We already know the truth.
Listen to me, I'm sounding like Pembleton here.
It could be worse, you could sound like Munch.
The law works any way we want it to.
I'm looking for Stivers. I'm gonna smack him.
Take your best shot, pal.
Terri Stivers? You a woman.
You homicide guys, always pickin' up on small details.
Someone's in the jackpot.
Yeah, well, it ain't me. I ain't done nothing. Lately.
You gonna put my name on a warrant for Luther Mahoney?
Right now, you're all we've got.
Then you ain't got jack; I'm outta here.
Hold on now, hold on. Listen, I got an idea here.
Be quick, man. I'm ill.
Yeah, you ill. You smell funky too.
You're looking good there, Frank. You're looking sure. Everyday, you're looking a little more sure. Not taking your medicine, are you? I'm a detective, Frank. A keen observer of the human condition. I pick up on the subtlest clues, I react to the slightest suggestion. In short, I deduce.
Who told you?
Brodie. You gotta take your medicine, Frank. If you don't take your pills Frank, your head's gonna explode.
What I gotta do is pass this test. I pass, I'm a detective. I fail, I'm office furniture.
You're a funny man, Al. May I call you Al?
No, you may not.
[about Brodie] I'm Lewis, this is Bayliss, and that's the young Jimmy Olsen over there.
Look at her eyes.
Did they move?
She's got makeup on.
So?
Most women take off their makeup before they go to bed.
Not the women I know.
Don't you even wonder why?
Why what?
Why he lied?
I'm a homicide cop. The only time I wonder why is when they tell me the truth.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Homicide: Life on the Street pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
