[As requested, Zubin reads "affirmations" to patient Monica Keppel, who believes in faith-healing, while she is under anaesthetic. He adds a few of his own.]
[reading from sheet] "Please speak the following healing affirmations into the patient's ear in a calm, relaxing voice." Hello, Monica. I am Two Trees Blowing In The Wind, your anaesthetist.
It doesn't say that.
Your operation has gone well. When you wake, you will be comfortable and you will urinate easily.
It does say that.
She's done her research. You will be hungry for - insert appropriate dietary requirements - and your body is now ready to complete the chain of healing. "Repeat the statement three times." Oh, I forgot a bit. And, Monica, when you wake up you will also believe that you're a giant talking rabbit.
Professor Khan!
[throwing away sheet of affirmations in disgust] Well, it either works or it doesn't.
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