Duke quotes from Haven

You are pretty funny.

Duke

Yes. I am funny.

You look like a pirate.

Duke

Do you know what my favorite vegetable is?

Arrrr-tichokes.

Duke

[looks really excited] You knew that one?!

Duke

[Nathan trying to stop Audrey from going into the barn] Listen! She's trying to help all these people. She's trying to help this town, and it is her choice. It's not yours. It's not mine. I hate it. But it's still her choice.

Nathan

You're in love with her too.

Duke

Yeah.

Nathan

Then how can you let her go?

Duke

I'd like to know how I even got to Boston.

Oh, you saying you got amnesia or something?

Duke

No. Maybe. Yes. Which answer's going to get you to uncuff me?

None of the above.

Duke

If I could just borrow your phone for two minutes. I promise you're not going to get in trouble.

Appreciate you looking out for me.

Duke

Oh, trust me, dear, that bedpan change could have been a very different experience.

And they say chivalry is dead.

If I was gonna ditch you, I would've done it before I had to flash that orderly my boobs.

Duke

All I said was we needed a distraction.

Well, it worked, didn't it?

Nathan

It's a bad idea. I need a roster...

I don't give a damn if you're still a cop! You've got no authority in this town.

Duke

If it makes you feel better, I—I never thought you had any authority.

Vince

You make sure this happens. If it doesn't, the Guard won't just be here for Nathan.

Duke

Good pep talk.

Duke

You know, I've been thinking about what happened down in that basement. You just stepped aside and let Tyler try to take me.

I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I just... I... I didn't want to get stabbed. I was scared.

Duke

See, that's where I get stuck. The way you jumped out of that barn, went down in that basement... I guess I'm just having a hard time believing that you were scared. I think you knew that my curse would kick in and save me.

I really... I don't know the first thing about it.

Duke

But Audrey Parker would. Isn't that right, Audrey?

Damn it, Duke. Yeah. It's me.

Okay, Seth Hughes, 25. Running errands, walks out of a bakery with a dozen muffins, and... gets rigor mortis. Yes, normally that happens after death, but in Haven. Look at that. It's like the actin and myosin in his cells went bonkers.

Duke

Bonkers?

Yeah, it's a medical term.

Audrey

Besides, what about the deal that you made with the Guard?

Duke

Since when doesn't the Guard want me dead? Look, I still think this is our very best bad plan.

Duke

I’m going to find Jennifer.

Nathan

Hey, what happened to her in the cave? After she shut the door she collapsed.

Duke

I don’t know. She got dizzy. You try operating a supernatural door to another dimension using a vampire novel and a positive attitude. You know when I do find her, we are going to take a very long trip and not send a postcard!

Nathan

Ok, Mara knows that Dwight’s location is sealed, that means she’s on her way to one of us. Be careful, she took down Dwight.

Duke

And I will never let him hear the end of it.