Zane Bennett quotes from H2O: Just Add Water

Zane

You are a disgrace to this port! You left a scratch on my boat!

Zane

I'm on a hunt and if I find what I'm looking for, I'll rewrite the history books.

Lewis

Amazing.

Not exactly the word I'd use. I've been at the juice bar hosing Wilfred down for two hours. He was about to go to the police.

Zane

It's your windsurfer, not his.

Lewis

Okay, maybe we should've asked, but this footage is fantastic. It'll make a great film.

Zane

You can't do that.

I sponsored that competition. You think I want my son on public view looking like...that?!

Zane

There was a twenty-foot shark out there, Dad! There were heaps of them!

Did you see anything?

Lewis

Well, um...

I didn't think so. Zane created this charade because he knew he couldn't really break my record. Now get rid of that.

Lewis

No, no, no, no, no. I shot this footage; that disc belongs to me! It's mine.

Zane

Lewis! Buddy, just the guy I was looking for. See I've got a problem...

Lewis

Well let me guess; You're self-centered, you're vain, you're disgustingly rich... Did you just call me buddy?

Zane

Lewis, look in the past we haven't exactly seen things eye to eye.

Lewis

I know, it's wasted.

Cleo

You're so devious, Zane.

Zane

You say that like it's a negative.

Rikki

Why would Cleo want to waste her breath talking to you?

Zane

Well, she wastes it on you daily.

Rikki

Pretend I'm a painting you admire.

Zane

A...painting??

Rikki

Or a speedboat or some stupid car.

Zane

What are you doing here?

Rikki

What are YOU doing here?

Zane

I asked first.

Rikki

"I asked first", how old are you, ten?.

Rikki

I'll think about it.

Zane

Really?

Rikki

No.

Rikki

Zane! Zane, wait!

Zane

What? Do you want to humiliate me some more?

Rikki

[Catches up to Zane] No audience. No point.

Zane

Oh, that's very big of you.

Rikki

I want to go out with you. [Zane stops and turns to her] But the mermaid talk stops. [Zane looks down] Look, I like you. Don't ask me why because I have no idea, but I do.

Zane

[Looks up at Rikki] No mermaids?

Rikki

That's the deal. Take it or leave it.

Zane

[Slowly smiles, then nods] Okay. No mermaids.

What was that?

Rikki

That was the sound of goodbye!

[to Zane] You did this?!

[to his son] What you've done here is unforgivable. You're a fool, Zane.

Zane

You spent half your life criticizing me. Have you looked at yourself lately? When did you become a liar and a thief?

Do you understand what we've lost here? What we've both lost?!

Zane

[fiercely] DO YOU?! 'Cause I'll tell you exactly what you've lost... Me.

Zane

[Jabs his thumb towards the pool entrance] I knew I'd find you here. It's okay. [Lowers his arm] I'm alone. [Walks towards the Moon Pool]

Rikki

So now you know.

Zane

[Slowly walks closer to Rikki] Yeah, you're still... [Gestures to Rikki's tail] You're still a, uh...

Rikki

A mermaid, Zane. I'm still a mermaid.

Zane

[Stands in front of Rikki, then bends down in front of her in the sand] That's what I meant.

Rikki

[Looks up at Zane] Thanks for covering for me with Nate.

Zane

No problem. [Beat] You should have just told me.

Rikki

[Raises her eyebrow] Really? [Takes her arms out of the water and crosses them on the rocky ledge, then rests her chin on her arms] And what would you have said? What would you have done?

Zane

Look, I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused you, but this time it's different. [Rikki glances away for a second. He gives her a small smile] Come on, Rikki, just risk it. I don't care... [Gestures to Rikki's tail] ...about this. About everything. [Rikki looks up at him] Let's get back together. [Rikki glances away, thinking about his words. He glances down, then looks back up at Rikki] Look, for a long time, I was the only one around here who believed in mermaids. I can handle it.

Rikki

[Shrugs, then shakes her head] I wish I could believe you.

Zane

[Leans forward on his elbows so he could be at Rikki's level, his face inches from hers] Listen carefully. I can handle it.

Zane

[Smiles and nods at Rikki] Believe me now?

Rikki

Okay, there's two conditions to us getting back together. Number one: You have to keep our mermaid identity a secret.

Zane

No problem. What's the other catch?

Rikki

We don't let Cleo and Emma find out we're back together. Promise?

Zane

Promise.

Rikki

Seriously.

Zane

Okay. I promise.

Rikki

And we can't be seen together in public. You'll have to say goodbye to me here.

Zane

[Kicks the stand out for the motorcycle and turns to Rikki, smiling] You sure make a lot of rules, don't you? Okay... okay. I'll play it your way. [Rikki smiles] You know where to find me. [Glances at the track, then turns back to Rikki] Whenever you want to see me, just call. Okay?

Rikki

[Smiles, then nods] Okay.