Cleo Sertori quotes from H2O: Just Add Water

Cleo

I'm a Portugese Man-Of-War.

Cleo

It's a jellyfish.

Cleo

(leaving voice-mail for Lewis) Lewis, you really let me down. I always thought that you, um, you were on my side and I was on yours. I thought deep down, that you, um, still cared for me. I guess I was wrong.

Cleo

I can't stand in your way, Lewis, even if that means losing you.

Cleo

There are more important things than seeing how long you can hold your breath for and frolicking with the dolphins.

Rikki

I don't frolic! I glide!

Lewis

Rikki and Emma told me about your dad.

Cleo

Great! So now the whole world knows my dad's a criminal. What would you do Lewis?

Lewis

I'd change my name and move to the country... but that's just me.

Cleo

You're no help.

Cleo

He denied everything, it's really awful. I mean, what could I say? "I know you're lying dad, 'cause my mermaid friends saw you fishing close to the nesting beach."

Rikki

He was using illegal nets too.

Emma

It's true, and they didn't have those grid things in them.

Cleo

This just gets worse and worse.

Cleo

What's going on?

Emma

We've been... you know... swimming.

Rikki

It's the best thing, the reef is out of this world!

Cleo

That's great, so has anyone been able to finish that calculus homework? Question 7's a nightmare.

Lewis

[To the girls] Guys, look. Turtle eggs.

Cleo

[Happily] Ohhh! [Crouches down in front of the eggs] Little turtles are so cute. I hope they all make it.

Lewis

So, you wanna show me something?

Cleo

[To Lewis] [Smiling] Yes, I do. [To the other two girls] Ready?

Lewis

[Nods while smiling] Cool.

Try this...timed well wouldn't you say?

Cleo

Ah, yea, thanks. Nearly got salt water in my eye, would've stung.

It does sting doesn't it? But not when you're actually underwater. Why is that I wonder?

Cleo

I don't know.

Lots of things are a mystery. Still, you've got time to learn. Staying dry! That's the big one

Cleo

So have you decided what time for the party tonight? ...

Emma

I know, but... I just don't see how I can have the party this year. Not with recent developments... Your new job! ...The dolphin tank at the Marine Park.

Cleo

Emma! This is tradition we're talking about!

Lewis

The what?!

Cleo

Yes of course the tank's full of water Emma, they're aquatic mammals... Yes I DO remember what water does to me, but I'm not going to let that ruin my life.

Emma

[holding the locket] This might be safer with you.

Cleo

With me? no you found it.

Emma

And I nearly managed to get it stolen. I know how much you like it. Here.

Cleo

You're sure?

Emma

Anyone who can hide a mermaid tail in the middle of a party has got what it takes to look after that.

Cleo

It's so sweet! He has a crush on you!

Rikki

[obviously put off by this revelation] Yeah, sweet like a lemon! [to Emma] Did you know about this?

Emma

Well...not exactly. [Rikki looks out the window; Emma continues] Rikki, don't hurt his...

Rikki

Don't even think about asking me to humour him. It's not gonna happen.

Emma

Can you at least be gentle?

Cleo

He's a sweet kid.

Rikki

You're all disturbed! Why is everything sweet and nice all the time?

Emma

Rikki, it's his first crush! Don't you remember what it was like to be a kid?

Rikki

No, and besides, this is just...all because I saved his life. It's like pulling a thorn out of a dog's foot.

Emma

And you'd do that gently, wouldn't you?

Rikki

No! I'd do it fast, and hope I didn't get bitten. OK, I don't do the whole "relationship" thing very well.

Cleo

It's not a relationship. He's eleven.

Rikki

OK, I don't do the whole "people liking me" thing very well.

Emma

What's there to do?

Rikki

Fine, tell me what to say to get him off my case...and I'll say it.

Cleo

I've got nothing.

Emma

Me either.

Rikki

Hey, guys, what's up?

Cleo

We can't find Elliot.

Rikki

He'll be around. Just...relax.

Emma

He's not, Rikki. We've looked all over, and he's not anywhere. It's not like him to just disappear.

Rikki

Have you told your parents?

Emma

No way. They'd freak out. It's like he's run away. You know, he was acting all weird last night, not his usual, happy self.

Emma

[she leans her head forward a bit] What?

Rikki

Oh, no. [her sentence trails off from the start] It's probably just nothing...

Emma

Rikki!

Rikki

OK, I told him that I wasn't interested, but I think I was gentle.

Rikki

OK, OK. [as Rikki speaks, Emma closes her eyes, shakes her head, re-opens her eyes, and bites her lower lip in frustration] I told him that even if he was older, taller, and a lot less, I think the words were "squeaky clean," that I wouldn't be interested, and that he should just back off, and leave me alone.

Cleo

Rikki!

Emma

He's just a kid!

Rikki

He kept bugging me!

Emma

[finally uncrossing her arms] You keep acting like he's committing a crime for having a crush on you. [Emma sighs, shakes her head at Rikki, then briefly looks at Cleo before turning back to Rikki] We've gotta go find him before my parents find out, but if anything happens to him, it'll be your fault.

Lewis

Hey! [he notices Rikki's upset] Why the long face?

Rikki

[quietly, with her chin still on her hand] Elliot.

Lewis

Oh-ho-ho! Oh, lemme guess. You tried to let him down easy, and now he-he's mortally crushed.

Rikki

[taking her chin off her hand] He's gone missing, Lewis. This is serious. Have you seen him anywhere?

Lewis

No. No, I haven't. Not since Lenny's. Maybe you should try thinking like a little kid.

Rikki

[scoffs] Easier said than done. Where would you hide if you were a little kid?

Lewis

Somewhere you'd never find me.

Rikki

That's it!

Lewis

Wha-?! All right. [throwing his hands up] Be mysterious.

Cleo

I can't help thinking about what that old woman said. 'Beware the full moon...'

Rikki

We're mermaids, not werewolves.

Emma

Have you ever thought about how weird people look? Their legs just don't look right.

Cleo

You need to sit down.

Emma

Now, take fish: they're sensibly designed.

Cleo

Can I get you anything?

Emma

I'd love a cheese sandwich...on rye bread..with sardines......actually, forget the cheese and the bread. Just bring me sardines!