[voiceover] It's one of those things people say. You can’t move on until you let go of with the past. Letting go is the easy part, it's the moving on that's painful. So sometimes we fight it, trying to keep things the same. Things can't stay the same though. At some point you just have to let it go. Move on. Because no matter how painful it is. It's the only way we grow.
[voiceover] Picture this, you've spent the past five years of your residency training to become a surgeon. But those five years, suddenly don't matter. The only thing that matters, the only thing between you and your career is a test. In a random hotel, in a random place with a random examiner asking you random questions. Nervous? You should be.
No, it's awful, it's tense and it's cold and it's dangerous. It feels like diffusing a bomb...in a haunted house...that's built on a mine field, and there are bears...EVERYWHERE...and, the bears have knives!
[voiceover] Kindergarten. High school. College. Med School. Residency. That all leads to this moment. Some people can crack under the pressure others thrive. Either way there's nothing left to do. No more studying no more preparing. Like it or not the moment has arrived. The only thing left you to do is show up.
[voiceover]Carpe diem. How annoying is carpe diem? How are you supposed to plan a life? A career? A family? If you're always "carpe"-ing the "diem"? If we all seized every moment of every day, there wouldn't be doctors. Who'd sit through med school? We'd all be too busy living in the now, whatever that means.
You're an idiot. You should have called me. I mean, w-why didn't you call me?! I'm a doctor what do you think I do all day long?! Instead you go to some quack in Tibet? I mean, you should have freaking called me!
It's not funny Nick! Nothing is funny. You're dying! And you know what hell it was when Tim died because you were there, and-and you and I barely made it through that so to do nothing for six years and then come when it's too late I-I-
NNick
Why do you think I didn't come to you sooner? Honestly after Tim died, I could...You think I don't know how this must feel for you?
I love you. Oh, G-- Oh, my God. That just came... fly-flying out of my face, like it was s-s-some kind of-- I-I l... I love you. I just-- God! Did it again! [laughs] I... I-I-I-I love you. I-I do. I just-- I-I love you. And I have been trying not to say it. I have been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and not say it. And Jackson is a great guy. He-he is, and he... he's gorgeous, and-and he's younger than you, and he doesn't have any grandkids or-or babies with his lesbian BFFs and he's an Avery, and-and he liked me, you know? He... he really liked me. But it was never gonna work out because I-I love you. I am so in love with you. And you're-you're... you're in me. It's-- You're like... it's-- It's like you're a disease. It's like I am infected by Mark Sloan. [laughs] And I just can't... [voice breaking] I can't think about anything or anybody, and I can't sleep. [crying] I can't breathe. I can't eat. And I love you. I just... I love you all the time, just every minute of every day. And I-I-I... I-I... love you. God, that feels good, just to-to say that... to... I am... I feel so much better. Just... I love you.
Are you calling me a liar, sir? Fine. You know what? Earlier when I said I was OK with that open procedure I wasn't. That might have been OK when Hawkeye and BJ did it on MASH. But being the new century and all, I would have, as I said earlier, treated endoscopically.
You know. Oh God. I can answer these questions any way you want using medical techniques from any era. So how about if we just... You know pick a decade you are comfortable with and go from there.
EExaminer
Well then. It's been a pleasure being witness to such a genius. I can now finally retire knowing that such advanced and creative minds work in the surgical field.
[voiceover]: I'll admit the Romans had a point. You gotta to live life. And living means that every morning when you wake up you have to chose between seizing what life offers in the moment and forging ahead, no matter the weather or closing the curtains and shutting out the day.
[voiceover]: So there is this bird, some sort of swallow I think. Every September thousand of them ditch rainy Seattle to winter in Mexico. These birds aren't dumb. And every year crowds of people gather around to drink beer and watch the flocks take off. They call it the Great Migration.