[In another flashback, Stanley discusses his time as a television pitchman]
[in a commercial] Hi there. I'm Stan Pines of StanCo Enterprises. Are you sick of this always happening to you? [gets splashed with juice] Then you need the shammy of the future. Made with the same material astronauts use to clean up cranberry stains on the moon. That's the Sham-Total. It's a total sham.
[voiceover] I had made my mark alright, unfortunately, so did the shammies. Apparently the cheap dye I used to color them only made stains worse. Customers weren't crazy about that, but luckily, they were chasing me with StanCo-brand pitchforks. Suckers! I was officially banned from New Jersey, but with a quick name change, Steve Pineington was ready to take on Pennsylvania.
[in another commercial] Hi, I'm Steve Pineington! Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is the Rip-Off. The Rip-Off won't give you rashes. I repeat, it won't give you rashes.
[voiceover] It gave you rashes.
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