Glee quotes
931 total quotesWill: [Answering phone] Hello?
Terri: Who is it? Who died?
[Heavy breathing on the other side of the phone]
Will: Suzy Pepper?
Suzy: You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath��that is so romantic.
Terri: [Taking phone from Will] Listen here, you little psycho. This is Will's wife, and if I don't get enough sleep, my antidepressants won't work, and then I'll go crazy, and I'll kill you! Stop calling.
Terri: Who is it? Who died?
[Heavy breathing on the other side of the phone]
Will: Suzy Pepper?
Suzy: You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath��that is so romantic.
Terri: [Taking phone from Will] Listen here, you little psycho. This is Will's wife, and if I don't get enough sleep, my antidepressants won't work, and then I'll go crazy, and I'll kill you! Stop calling.
Will: [to Emma] It took everything I had not to cry. It's like they've all walked a thousand miles just to get punched in the stomach.
Will: [turns around and sees everyone as little kids] Okay, I definitely have a fever.
Young Santana: Looking good Puckerman. Someone's been eating their Wheaties.
Young Puck: [kisses his muscles] These guns are fully loaded.
Young Rachel: Mr Schue? I for one think we should use our set list for Sectionals to explore the ouevre of one Bernadette Peters.
Young Brittany: Someday, I'm going to Paris to visit the Oeuvre.
Young Mike: I just want to dance.
Young Mercedes: Mr. Schuester? You look a little green.
Young Santana: Looking good Puckerman. Someone's been eating their Wheaties.
Young Puck: [kisses his muscles] These guns are fully loaded.
Young Rachel: Mr Schue? I for one think we should use our set list for Sectionals to explore the ouevre of one Bernadette Peters.
Young Brittany: Someday, I'm going to Paris to visit the Oeuvre.
Young Mike: I just want to dance.
Young Mercedes: Mr. Schuester? You look a little green.
Will: [writes "Sexy" on the board] Sexy.
Santana: I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance.
Santana: I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance.
Will: All right guys, let's get down to business. First, let's welcome back Noah Puckerman. [to Puck] Puck, I hope your time in juvie has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong.
Puck: Are you kidding me? I ruled that place. All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day.
Quinn: Wow, what a catch. I can't believe I ever let you go.
Puck: Are you kidding me? I ruled that place. All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day.
Quinn: Wow, what a catch. I can't believe I ever let you go.
Will: All right, folks. Regionals is in a week. It's time to get deep into our set list. Artie? You okay?
Artie: [still in shock] My life is over. How am I suppose to support a baby? [turns to Brittany] How could you not tell me about this?
Will: Wait, Brittany, are you pregnant?
Brittany: Definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. I'm pretty sure it's a boy.
Puck: Um, babies don't get dropped off.
Will: Wait, Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure.
Brittany: I don't need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid. It's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from.
Santana: [looks at Brittany in shock]
Sam: [smiles and shakes his head]
Artie: [still in shock] My life is over. How am I suppose to support a baby? [turns to Brittany] How could you not tell me about this?
Will: Wait, Brittany, are you pregnant?
Brittany: Definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. I'm pretty sure it's a boy.
Puck: Um, babies don't get dropped off.
Will: Wait, Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure.
Brittany: I don't need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid. It's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from.
Santana: [looks at Brittany in shock]
Sam: [smiles and shakes his head]
Will: All right, guys! Let me ask you something: where do you think you'll be in the year 2030?
Rachel and Kurt: Broadway! (They look at each other) Twinsies!
Artie: Walking.
Puck: In jail. Or dead. Or both.
Rachel and Kurt: Broadway! (They look at each other) Twinsies!
Artie: Walking.
Puck: In jail. Or dead. Or both.
Will: All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.
Brittany: He discovered America.
Will: All right. New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.
Mercedes: Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?
Will: Hey, hey. Come on.
Coach Beiste: Hey.
Finn: Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.
Rachel: And there's no way that I am sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.
Mercedes: Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?
Will: Hey, hey. Come on.
Coach Beiste: Hey.
Finn: Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.
Rachel: And there's no way that I am sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.
Will: And action! [Music starts and the elevator starts going down]
Rachel: [walking backwards to the elevator with Finn] Oh Brad, let's get out of here! I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared!
Finn: Well I'm here. There's nothing to worry about.
Mercedes: [turns around and opens the elevator door]
Rachel: [turns to Mercedes] Ahhh! [faints]
Rachel: [walking backwards to the elevator with Finn] Oh Brad, let's get out of here! I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared!
Finn: Well I'm here. There's nothing to worry about.
Mercedes: [turns around and opens the elevator door]
Rachel: [turns to Mercedes] Ahhh! [faints]
Will: And now, I'd like to introduce one of the best men: Finn Hudson.
Finn: [Takes a glass from the waiter] Oh, thanks. Hi. Uh, thank you. Best man. Right. Well, I wanna propose a toast to my mom, who is so awesome. I mean, somehow even without one in the house, you've taught me what it means to be a man. [Carole tears up] In Glee club, whenever two of us get together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. [Rachel smiles] Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry. [Rachel scowls] And today, a new union was formed: Furt [Kurt looks surprised, the gleeks laugh. To Kurt] You and me, man. We're brothers from another mother. And quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, uh, some stuff's gone down. And I haven't manned up like I should've. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a slushie in the face every now and then. [The gleeks chuckle] You put this entire wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So, as a thank-you I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor. [To Kurt] You're gonna dance it with me dude.
Finn: [Takes a glass from the waiter] Oh, thanks. Hi. Uh, thank you. Best man. Right. Well, I wanna propose a toast to my mom, who is so awesome. I mean, somehow even without one in the house, you've taught me what it means to be a man. [Carole tears up] In Glee club, whenever two of us get together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. [Rachel smiles] Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry. [Rachel scowls] And today, a new union was formed: Furt [Kurt looks surprised, the gleeks laugh. To Kurt] You and me, man. We're brothers from another mother. And quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, uh, some stuff's gone down. And I haven't manned up like I should've. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a slushie in the face every now and then. [The gleeks chuckle] You put this entire wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So, as a thank-you I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor. [To Kurt] You're gonna dance it with me dude.
Will: And the ornaments?
Santana: The man who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother and when the police came they left the whole place like wide open. I think she was a holiday hoarder.
Santana: The man who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother and when the police came they left the whole place like wide open. I think she was a holiday hoarder.