Glee quotes

931 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1  



Sue: There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the Dumpster outside your apartment.

Sue: Welcome to the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination: Horror.

Sue: Wheels, Porcelain, Other Gay. The yuletide season is upon us, and everyone knows that Christmas is a time for forgiveness. So I have decided to forgive you for having no talent and ruining the American songbook one mash-up at a time.

Sue: Will, you have more grease in your hair than the guy behind Wikileaks.

Sue: You are seriously no fun to interrogate or almost torture.

Sue: You know what William? That's what one Hubert Humphrey said back in 1968 at the start of the Democratic National Convention. But then hippies put acid in everyone's bourbon. And when an updraft revealed Lady Bird Johnson's tramp-stamp, and tattoos above her ovaries, Mayor Richard J. Daley became so incensed with sexual rage that he punched his own wife in the face. And spent the next hour screaming "Sex Party!" into the microphones of all three major networks.

Sue: You took away my Cheerios. Consider this the opening salvo of World War Sue.
Flashback ends

Sugar: Awesome! More back up for me.
Santana: Ok, you know what? I did not just leave one diva-driven glee club to join another, so let me write you a reality check richy bitch - I've seen what you can do, and what you can do is stand in the back, sway, and sing very, very quietly.
Sugar: I, erm��I just - wanted to on the winning team for once?
Mercedes: Then turn down the ��tude and you will be.

Sugar: Okay, everyone! It's time for my extra special guest! Back from the dead and cute and compact as ever.
Blaine: [standing by the door] Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.
Kurt: [looks up shocked]

Terri: [handing Quinn pregnancy supplements] Take three times a day, or your baby will be ugly.

Terri: I have compulsive need to crush other people's dreams.
Finn: Yeah, that's what Mr. Schue said.

Terri: You have to admit no matter how toxic our marriage was I was really good at taking care of you when you were sick.
Will: That's because you like me best when I'm weak.

Tim: (while convincing Sue to do the expose)And you can replace killer bees with whatever you want.
Barry: Terrorists.
Tim: Mexicans.
Barry: Mexican terrorists.
Tim: Ants.
Barry: Mexican terrorist ants...

Tina: [piggy back rides Mike and nibbling his ear]
Mike: [laughing]
Santana: [voiceover] How is this possible? I'm the hottest piece of action in this school, and here I am, on Valentine's and single. Whatever. I'll just marry an NFL player. They're super reliable.
Quinn: [smirking at Finn]
Finn: [smiling back at Quinn]
Santana: Wait, that's weird. Quinn has that queen bitch smirk on her face and Finn only has that gassy infant look when he feels guilty about something. [gasps] Holy sweet hell. They're fooling around! I know what cheating looks like! I do it all the time. [chuckles]

Tina: [referring to her Gaga dress] My balls keep falling off.
Kurt: I've been there.