Glee quotes
931 total quotesSebastian: Well well well, if it isn't a young Barbra Streisand and an old Betty White. Where's Gay Cyclops? Still trying to stumble his way in?
Kurt: We can't come here anymore.
Sebastian: [to Rachel] I brought an engagement gift for you. [hands Rachel an envelope]
Rachel: [opens the envelope, takes out a picture of Finn and gapes in shock] Oh my God! [covers Finn's privates in the picture] That thing is photoshopped! His thing is not that small, or brown!
Kurt: And he could never fit into those pumps.
Sebastian: Just think, from now until eternity, every time someone Googles 'Finn Hudson', they'll be treated to that. And dozens just like it. That's the beauty of the internet. It stays with us forever.
Rachel: What do you want, Sebastian?
Sebastian: I want a guaranteed Regionals win so I want you to drop out. McKinley gets home court advantage this year, and you're gonna come down with Asian bird-flu, or whatever Tina Blowhen-Wang just had.
Rachel: But that is show choir terrorism.
Kurt: You give a bad name to the entire gay community.
Sebastian: And you give the gay community cutting-edge fashions usually only seen on Puerto-Rican Pride floats.
Kurt: I'm sorry, I can't hear you over your giant horse teeth.
Sebastian: You have 24 hours to drop out, Rachel, or I press the 'upload' button. [walks away]
Kurt: We can't come here anymore.
Sebastian: [to Rachel] I brought an engagement gift for you. [hands Rachel an envelope]
Rachel: [opens the envelope, takes out a picture of Finn and gapes in shock] Oh my God! [covers Finn's privates in the picture] That thing is photoshopped! His thing is not that small, or brown!
Kurt: And he could never fit into those pumps.
Sebastian: Just think, from now until eternity, every time someone Googles 'Finn Hudson', they'll be treated to that. And dozens just like it. That's the beauty of the internet. It stays with us forever.
Rachel: What do you want, Sebastian?
Sebastian: I want a guaranteed Regionals win so I want you to drop out. McKinley gets home court advantage this year, and you're gonna come down with Asian bird-flu, or whatever Tina Blowhen-Wang just had.
Rachel: But that is show choir terrorism.
Kurt: You give a bad name to the entire gay community.
Sebastian: And you give the gay community cutting-edge fashions usually only seen on Puerto-Rican Pride floats.
Kurt: I'm sorry, I can't hear you over your giant horse teeth.
Sebastian: You have 24 hours to drop out, Rachel, or I press the 'upload' button. [walks away]
Shelby: And ladies, I don't want to hear about chafing just because you're being forced to wear metal underwear. Not my problem.
Strando: We're dudes. It's weird. Getting all hot and bothered about singing a Ke$ha song.
Puck: Maybe it won't so weird when I go Tik Tok on your face.
Puck: Maybe it won't so weird when I go Tik Tok on your face.
Sue: "I miss my sister. Every night at 10 or so, she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked her why...she'd tell me her body told her...she wanted to hear my voice." [begins to cry]
Will: [gets up and takes Sue's paper] Here, I'll read it. [begins to read] "I miss my sister. The smell of her shampoo. The way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love some like I loved her they're a part of you it's like you're attached by this invisible tether and no matter how far away you are you can always feel them and now every time I reach for that tether I know there's no one on the other end and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness and then I remember Jean. I remember a life lead with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Just ten more seconds-- is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her? But I can't and I won't and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now I'm just going to miss her. I love you, Jeannie. Rest in peace.��
[The glee club begins to get up and perform.]
Will: [gets up and takes Sue's paper] Here, I'll read it. [begins to read] "I miss my sister. The smell of her shampoo. The way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love some like I loved her they're a part of you it's like you're attached by this invisible tether and no matter how far away you are you can always feel them and now every time I reach for that tether I know there's no one on the other end and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness and then I remember Jean. I remember a life lead with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Just ten more seconds-- is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her? But I can't and I won't and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now I'm just going to miss her. I love you, Jeannie. Rest in peace.��
[The glee club begins to get up and perform.]
Sue: "Splits" magazine has named me cheerleading coach of the last two thousand years.
Sue: (holds up a piece of broccoli) Do you know what this is?
Mercedes: A toilet brush.
Sue: It' broccoli. When I showed this to to Brittany earlier she began to whimper thinking I cut down a small tree where a small family of gummy bears lived.
Mercedes: A toilet brush.
Sue: It' broccoli. When I showed this to to Brittany earlier she began to whimper thinking I cut down a small tree where a small family of gummy bears lived.
Sue: [Announcing] From Fort Wayne, Indiana, the not-at-all stupidly named, Aural Intensity!
Sue: [in her journal] Goodbye cruel world. Yes, losers. I'm committing Sue-icide.
Sue: [to Will] I spent large segments of each day picturing you choking on food, and I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that I once shoved your face into one of those pink-inflamed monkey butts that weep lymph.
Sue: [to Will] I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou!
Sue: [to Will] So here's the deal. You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy elderly mother: Euthanize it. It's their time.
Sue: [Writing in her journal] Dear Journal, something strange happened yesterday. I felt something below the neck. Dare I admit it? I have feelings for one Will Schuester. Sexy, non-murdering feelings. True love always springs from true hate. I'll admit in the past I've fantasized about waking up with Will's head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.