Glee quotes

931 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1  



Rory: Sam, I was wondering if you'd like to be my Valentine's Day sponsor as well. I mean, you did such a good job being a Christmas sponsor, I figured you'd have no problem helping me land a snog or two by February.
Sam: Deal. But you have to help me learn to perfect my Sean Connery. I'm telling you, impressions are the best way to get a chick.

Rory: Sir, girls smell better than ham. And when they're dancing and bouncing around, you can't help but watch them.

Rory: These bells make me homesick.
Sam: You mean like church bells and stuff?
Rory: No. My brother Seamus gets lost all the time, So my dad made him wear a bell around his neck so we can always find him.
Sam: Smart.

Rory: Would you? be my friend, Finn?
Finn: Whoa, whoa.
Rory: It would be an honor.
Finn: In America, dudes don't ask dudes to be their friends. Well, except on Facebook, but even that could take years.

Russell: Uh, my name is Russell, and I'm a glee club survivor. Whenever anything bad would happen, I would just say, "Let's put on a show!" Well, guess what? Puttin' on a show about your father's prostate cancer will actually just make him more depressed about the situation.

Sam: [stops Santana from singing] Okay, could we stop? Stop with the mouth jokes.
Santana: Sit down. I'm not finished.
Sam: Yes you are! Mr. Schue, we are not doing a song at Regionals called Trouty Mouth.

Sam: Aren't duets supposed to be like, between a girl and guy?
Kurt: Well, Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor would protest.
Sam: Who?
Kurt: Make'em Laugh? Singing in the Rain?
Sam:[looks confused] Sorry.
Kurt: 1952? Nothing? Okay, maybe you are straight.

Sam: Hey, you got a lot of nerve accusing me of cheating when you're the one who snuck in and stole my girl!

Sam: How the hell did you afford that thing?
Brittany: I didn't buy it. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.
Artie: (turns to Santana) I assumed her dad got it for me but he has no idea. He went to take a long poop and then it was there.
Rachel: So if no one knew who bought it for you then-
Brittany: Santa brought it.
Mercedes: Santa.
Artie: (nods) Santa.
Quinn: A real Christmas miracle.
Coach Beiste': (watching and smiling)
At Will's home:

Sam: I didn't realize you had a problem with gay dudes.
Finn: I don't have a problem with gay dudes. Everyone else does, and we're living in their world. And in their world, you singing a duet with Kurt is a death sentence.
Sam: Well, I gave him my word. In my world, that's that.

Sam: I know what's it's like to have a secret you're ashamed of.
Quinn: [gasps] So...so you are gay!

Sam: I'm pretty, but I ain't dumb.

Sam: I'm Sam. Sam I am. And I don't like Green Eggs and Ham.
Santana: Wow, he has no game.

Sam: It's ��cause I'm white, right?

Sam: My dad always said there were two ways to get a girl to love you: take her hunting, and rock n roll.