Uh, you and I have got to have a little talk.
Hey, if you’re gonna get all Ward Cleaver on me, I gotta go call Eddie and Lumpy and tell ‘em I’m gonna be late.
Shut up for a second, would ya? Look, I know you’re at an age where the whole girl thing is... you know, on your mind a lot, and it’s probably not helping you to think straight with all the hormones and other things that are raging around in there. My point is that you gotta think about things a little better, you know, the way you act. I mean, if you care about a girl the way you do with this Shane –
I don’t care about her.
What?
I don’t even know her last name.
You’re kidding.
She mentioned it once. Didn’t stick.
Well, if you don’t care about her, what are you doing with her?
Just hanging with her, no biggie.
Well, you gotta be doing something more than hanging with her. I mean, you got to at least be doing something with her to make her jump in a closet when people come into the room.
Relax, will ya? All is good.
Jess, this isn’t right. You can’t treat a girl like this, like dirt!
If it’s any consolation to you, she treats me like dirt, too. It’s a pretty symbiotic relationship.
And that’s fine with you?
Yes, it is.
To just go along in a relationship, you treat somebody bad and they treat you bad back.
That’s right.
Oh, that makes you happy?
I’d do backflips, but I am way too cool.
That makes absolutely no sense.
It doesn’t have to make sense to you.
There are plenty other of girls out there in the world, Jess.
Don’t you have to get back to the diner?
I mean, you can go out and at least find one that you actually care about.
Oh, like it’s that easy.
Yeah, it’s that easy if you try.
Hey, the girls that I like don’t give a damn about me! And unlike some other people I know, I’m not gonna sit around hoping that they change their minds and suddenly notice me.
What’s that supposed to mean?
You fixed any neighbor’s porches lately? Or you go on a picnic? Or you get rooked into giving a ridiculous speech at a high school?
Shut up.
At least I’ve got a little self-esteem.
Shut up.
I’m not playing Golden Retriever, hoping one day she’ll turn around and fall in my arms. If she doesn’t wanna be with me, then fine.
You have no idea what you’re talking about.
Whatever. I gotta go, Shane’s waiting.
Oh, you mean What’s-Her-Name?
Yeah, I’ll bring you a new leash when I get back.
Get outta here!
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