Jim McAllister quotes from Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage

Georgie

I wasn't sure that I was fired.

Jim

Of course not.

Georgie

Is Mrs. McAllister okay with that?

Jim

Of course not.

Jim

[after CeeCee says her first word] Smart little girl.

Georgie

Well, you know, genius runs in my family.

Georgie

Given any more thought to carrying those new Korean tires?

Jim

Oh, I appreciate the idea, but my dad fought in Korea. Just feels wrong.

Georgie

I'm pretty sure these are the good Koreans.

Jim

Doesn't matter, I don't want to piss off the blimp guys.

Mandy

This article says to put cabbage leaves in your bra when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.

Audrey

Why would you do that?

Mandy

To help dry up your milk.

Jim

Well, what happens to the cabbage leaves?

Mandy

That's your question?

Georgie

Hi. Can I ask you a personal question?

Jim

Sure.

Georgie

When you got married, did you still have other friends?

Jim

Yeah. Tons.

Georgie

What about after you have kids?

Jim

Oh, no. Life as I knew it ended.

Georgie

Morning.

Jim

Morning.

Audrey

Morning.

Georgie

Mrs. McAllister, I was hoping to talk to you about Thanksgiving.

Audrey

Well, sure.

Georgie

I really think me, Mandy, and CeeCee, need to spend it at my mom's.

Georgie

This is gonna be great. I ain't never rode in a convertible before.

Jim

Well, you know how dogs like to stick their head out the car window. It's like that, but for the people.

Georgie

Interior's in good shape. Seats are leather.

Jim

No, I think it's naugahyde.

Georgie

What animal is that from?

Jim

I don't know, uh... a nauga?

Jim

How's it going?

Georgie

Fine.

Jim

You know how to use your fabric softeners and whatnot?!

Georgie

There's instructions on the bottle.

Jim

Right. Good for you.

Jim

Nothing's happening yet.

Audrey

I know. But if they're moving, we're moving.

Jim

What about the store?

Audrey

Oh, you'll figure it out. Good night.

Jim

Why are you reading Cosmo?

Georgie

Trying to learn how women think. You know there's a lot of dirty stuff in here?

Jim

Are there pictures?

Georgie

Sometimes. Listen to this, the health benefits of sex. Travels in his, automobile or something? I don't know what that is. 11 secrets of world class lovers.

Jim

11? I only got 2 and 3 tops.

Mandy

Well, Georgie. It must be yours, because you're the only one with a pager.

Georgie

Oh, yep. That is me.

Jim

Someone needs a tow.

Georgie

No, it's just my mom, I'll call her.

Georgie

Well, you know her. Drinking, smoking, hitting gophers with a golf club, they're usual.

Audrey

We should ask her and Dale to come over for dinner. Wouldn't that be nice, Jim?

Jim

Well, I don't know. Drinking, smoking. Do you really want that around your children?

Mandy

We are impressionable.

Mandy

Sunrise today will be at 6:39, which is only an hour away. So all you ladies out there doing the walk of shame, "Good 4 U" but tick-tock.

Audrey

Jim, wake up.

Jim

Why?

Audrey

Amanda's on TV.

Jim

Hey. Cool. There she is.

Georgie

McAllister tires under new management.

Jim

What's the name?

Georgie

Dr. Tire!

Jim

Oh, nice. That way, you can still see her everyday when she needs you.

Georgie

Hey, don't be jealous. If you ever date a girl, and she's on TV, you can put her picture up, too.

Jim

For your information, I did date a girl who was on Mari once. I was not the father.

Georgie

Hey. Here for a truck?