[Tyrion and Bronn are planning for Stannis' invasion]
My lord Hand. Commander. I must compliment you on the Gold Cloaks' performance these past few weeks. Did you know there has been a marked drop in thievery?
I did not know. [to Bronn] And how did you accomplish this "marked drop in thievery"?
Me and the lads rounded up all the known thieves.
[sharply] For questioning?
Uh, no. [Varys looks shocked] It's just the unknown thieves we need to worry about now.
We talked about this.
Aye, we talked about it. Have you ever been in a city under siege? Maybe this part's not in your books. See, it's not the fighting that kills most people, it's the starving. Food's worth more than gold. Noble ladies sell their diamonds for a sack of potatoes. Things get bad enough, the poor start eating each other. The thieves? They love a siege. Soon as the gates are sealed, they steal all the food. By the time it's all over, they're the richest men in town.
Given the circumstances, my lord, I believe extreme measures are warranted. [sees what Tyrion is reading] Ahh, The Great Sieges of Westeros. Thrilling subject. Shame Archmaester Ch'Vyalthan wasn't a better writer.
[unrolls a map of King's Landing] Stannis knows King's Landing. He knows where the walls are strongest, and he knows which gates are weakest. Mud Gate... good ram will batter it down in minutes, and it's only fifty yards from the water. That's where he'll land.
And if Stannis does attack the Mud Gate, what is our plan?
We could throw books at his men.
We don't have that many books.
We don't have that many men, either.
What do we have?
[glances up at Bronn] Pig shit.
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