Elrics quotes from Fullmetal Alchemist

Alphonse

It is a beautiful city, isn't it?

Edward

I'll say. Aquroya: The City of Water, and primal tourist magnet. It sure beats that East City dust-bowl and having to see the Colonel's know-it-all grin, don't you think!? (A car comes by and gets Ed wet) WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM PAL!?

Alphonse

Heheh, well, it is the city of water.

Edward

Grr… (Claps his hands together and makes an alchemic light, looks up to see his hand had been handcuffed.) Hey, shouldn't we talk first? Gah…!

You're coming' to the station. I've got some questions for you, Alchemist…

So, you’re telling me you’re with the state, and that you’re the famous Fullmetal, hero of the people?

Edward

(Through full mouth of food) How many times do I have to say it chief, that watch should be proof enough!

Sure, if it’s real, but I have my doubts, I’d say you’re too short for a hero.

Edward

Who are you calling so small?! You want to crunch like an ant!?

Alphonse

Brother, please, he didn’t say anything like that.

Sorry for the third-degree, kid, had to test you. We’ve got a thief on our backs named Psiren, and we’re all a little on edge.

Alphonse

Psiren?

Yeah, real name’s unknown; the only lead we’ve got is she uses alchemy, so I thought you just might be connected. Hmm… But you say you’re with the state, and the Fullmetal Alchemist, no less.

Edward

Damn that guy! He kept saying the same thing for three hours straight! He probably wears that hat to hide the hole in his brain.

Alphonse

Still, doesn’t it concern you, a criminal using alchemy to steal?

Edward

Crap!

Alphonse

Hmm? Bother, you don’t look so good.

Edward

My stomach feels… Oh!

Well, it looks like a little bit of food poisoning, that’s all.

Alphonse

It’s not from eating too much?

Edward

Oh, shut up.

We’ll need to give you an injection. Clara?

Injection?

Yeah, just a poke.

Edward

(running like a bat out of Hell) NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON’T NEED IT! (Alphonse grabs him)

Alphonse

It’s just a little needle. You’ll be fine.

Edward

I FEEL BETTER! I'M CURED!

Alphonse

Don’t be a baby! Take off your coat!

Edward

I HATE YOU, AL! WHY DO YOU WANT TO SELL OUT YOUR OWN BROTHER?! YOU’RE EVIL!

Alphonse

You don’t mean that!

Edward

I’LL TURN YOU ALL INTO FISH! (Clara puts a finger to his lips) Uh?!

There. You’re all done, Ed. That didn’t hurt at all, did it?

Alphonse

Fast work. You didn’t even notice.

And after all that fuss.

Edward

Yeah, so what’s your point?

We all have to grow up some time, right?

Edward

So, is the rude commentary included in the bill?

Alphonse

She was so good at her job, smart, and gorgeous too. I can’t stop thinking about her.

Edward

You’ve got the weirdest taste in women, Al; she was a bad gift in pretty wrapping.

Edward

Well? How’d it go?

Alphonse

Let’s check…

Edward

All right!

We got ourselves some dinner!

Edward

Don’t forget to dry yourself off; you don’t want to rust…

Alphonse

Okay.

Alphonse

Who was that person brother? Oh man! He’s so scary, and she said there were no wild animals….

Edward

I think he was more dangerous then any wild animal…

Alphonse

What should we do?

Edward

What can we do? Our ride’s not coming for another month. First thing’s first, if we’re both hungry, then we can’t fight!

Alphonse

YES! My brother is a genius! [Holds caught rabbit]

Edward

Looks like these traps work even if you don’t make them right!

Alphonse

So, uh, how are we supposed to eat that brother?

Edward

We kill it!

Alphonse

Do we HAVE to?!

Uh….

Edward

You do it!

Alphonse

Uh? No you don’t understand Ed, you have to do it! There’s no way I can I’ve never killed an animal before!

Edward

Well I haven’t either, Al!

Alphonse

But that’s no fair! You always make me do your dirty work!

Edward

I do not! (A fox snatches their rabbit)

AHH!

Edward

Stop!

Alphonse

Stop!

Edward

That’s our rabbit!

Alphonse

Eh?

Edward

Uh! Eh! AHHH!!!!

Alphonse

BROTHER! Are you OK? That bite looks bad!

Edward

YOU STUPID FOX!

Edward

When we find that damn thing… I’m biting it back!

Alphonse

Brother! (Ed runs over to him)

Edward

It has babies!

Alphonse

I guess she’s the mother…

Edward

Uh-huh… (Babies start eating the rabbit)

Uh!

Edward

Let’s pass on the meat and eat fish instead.

Edward

I’m starting to wonder if foxes are edible…

Alphonse

Heheh, Just be patient Ed…

GOT ONE!!

Edward

[rubbing two sticks together while Al blows on them] FIRE!!

Time to eat! ... FOOD! Uh… (Groans, then squeal and run off)

Alphonse

Almost ready… Brother!

Edward

Yeah, what’s up-?

Alphonse

Come with me!

Edward

OW! (They get to the now burned out fire) What happened here?

Alphonse

What do you mean ‘what happened’? You got hungry and ate it all before dinner time!

Edward

Wasn’t me.

Alphonse

But look, there’s your hand print…!

Edward

Look at it carefully, it’s a right hand. So someone else is here.

Alphonse

Someone else? You mean?

Edward

At least now we know why teacher brought us here, she thinks we didn’t get enough the last time.

Alphonse

But where are you going?

Edward

To find the masked man, we might as well go ahead and get this over with now.

I was just doing my job. Izumi told me to toughen you up a little bit.

Edward

Nearly dying of starvation and getting our asses beat was supposed to toughen us up?!

Alphonse

How could you do that to kids?! What kind of monster are you?!

Izumi

Stop bitching about the past and worry about someone other than yourselves!

[nervously] Yes, ma'am.