Edward quotes from Fullmetal Alchemist

Edward

Oh, that reminds me. Colonel, what do you think of this ring?

Roy

...What's this?

Edward

I just told you, it's a ring!

Roy

I'm sorry, but I cannot accept a gift like this from another man.

Edward

It's not a gift, you moron!

Oh? So you're giving it to a girl? Haha, you're blossoming early, shrimp!

Edward

That ain't it either, and don't call me a shrimp!

Roy

It looks like a normal old ring to me. Is there something special about it?

Edward

Well, you see... No, it's nothing. Just forget it

Hmm... Something's fishy here, and it ain't cod. Wait a minute! You're not planning on wooing my daughter at an early age, are you!?

Edward

Excuse me?

...Roy, let's grill this shrimp up. I'll get the skewers...

Roy

...And I'll provide the flames.

Alphonse

Ed, how could you? Trying to win her favor at the age of two! You start early, don't you?

Edward

SHADDUP!!!

Edward

[after Al bumps into him] What's the matter Al? Did you forget how to walk in a straight line- Stop bumping into me!

Alphonse

S-sorry... th-these spooky places give me the creeps.

Edward

[laughs] I can't believe you got the heebie-jeebies, Al! You're a big suit of armor! Look at the Lieutenant; walking all bravely up there, leadin' the way- and she's just a girl!

Edward

Ahh-Wha!! Wh-wh-wh-whoa! Put that down, Lieutenant! I didn't mean to insult you in any way, I swear! I just meant 'cause you're-

Edward

Geez, don't you guys know how to come onto a scene- without making a scene? You're so attention starved!

Roy

Right... You knew I'd have to show my face sometime. So, how have things been going, FullMetal? Look's like this was a close call- guess that means you owe me one.

Edward

I don't owe you anything! These golems couldn't get an inch on- WWAAAHHHH!

Roy

[holds up two fingers] Now, you owe me two.

Edward

[as he struggles to get loose] Arghh!! If you're my backup- then back me up!!

Roy

[laughs] That's funny. But, I'm not here for backup, FullMetal.

Edward

Erhh...Huh?

Roy

You fought bravely enough. Now, you can leave it in the hands of the state.

Hey, you in the armor and shorty! [Ed twitches angrily] Who gave you permission to chat!? Just shut up and fork over the valuables!

This is perfect! Okay, you, take the goods from the muscle man and the armor, and get your butt over here, shorty!

Edward

[cringes as his eyes slit black; veins pulsing all over his face] Who are you calling shorty!?

Heh- You, of course! Who the heck else is there? You shorty!

Edward

[charges ragingly as he claps, transmuting his automail into a hammer] YOU CALLING ME THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS' KIND OF SHORTY!? [slugs the first terrorist out of the train, sending him flying off into the distance]

Impressive, Edward Elric!

That alchemist...!

I am Genz Bresslau, the Armor-Piercing Alchemist, and the strongest in the military!

Alphonse

Eep... But I've never heard of you.

Edward

And just WHO says you're the strongest in the military, anyway? Your mom doesn't count, you know.

Wait... You guys can't be...? Yer not Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, are you?

Alphonse

Gosh, Brother, you're a celebrity!

Edward

What's it to you? Do you want me to sign your forehead or something?