Matt Saracen quotes from Friday Night Lights

Matt

There's this new freshmen this year and everyone think he's the next Peyton Manning or something, so I got replaced.

Oh Matt, I'm sorry. You don't deserve that.

Matt

I didn't really deserve the job in the first place. The only reason I was starting is 'cause our quarterback, Jason Street, he got paralyzed in the middle of a game.

Oh my god.

Matt

Yeah, it was pretty horrible. You know, they needed me and I stepped up, and I worked my ass off and I did everything I could, you know? But I guess it just wasn't really enough.

It sounds like you did a great job...ever think about just taking a break?

Matt

You can't quit the team.

Why, what would they do? Shoot you?

Matt

Probably. We do live in Texas.

Hey! What the hell are you doing?

Matt

I did whatever you asked me to. I helped you win a state championship, I got you to 3-1 this season, I worked my ass off in practice. I do everything that you say! If it's 'cause J.D. is better than me, tell me that!

My job is to field a team out there that wins games. Right now, that means J.D: McCoy. Yes.

Matt

Okay. Then I quit.

You're not quitting this team.

Matt

Yes, I am.

No, you're not quitting this team and I'm not gonna let you quit. I know you. You quit this team you're gonna hate yourself. You wanna be pissed? Fine, you go ahead, you be pissed. I don't give a damn. But you are not quitting this team.

Matt

Fine. Fine, I'll sit on your bench. I'll come to practice and I'll do whatever you tell me to do. But I'm gonna hate it. And you're gonna hate it. Good talk, coach.

Julie

[after she gets her dad to consider moving Matt to wide receiver] So me being your girlfriend - does that entitle me to like ten percent of your endorsements?

Matt

No it doesn't.

Julie

We should set up a contract now.

Landry

Please tell me the lesson you've learned.

Matt

Always lock the door.

Landry

When having sex with the Coach's daughter.

Tim

Last game, Seven.

Matt

No regrets.

Matt

What would you say is the most important tool for an artist to have?

What's with you and all the questions?

Matt

You just told me to talk!

The most important tool an artist can have is selfishness. It means you're going to spend your life trying to express some dark corner of your life...you'll express your love, thoughts on God and everything else. So you gotta push away everyone in the way and be selfish to get it out.

Julie

Did you hear that Brown used to make people hand write their essays?

Matt

That's how they'd weed out the serial killers.

Julie

You don't have to eat if you don't want to.

Matt

I'm hungry.

Tami

Well do you want something else, hun?

Matt

No, I'm sorry... I don't like carrots and I don't like when they touch the meat.

Tami

I'll just take it away.

Matt

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm being rude, I'm sorry. I don't like being rude. I don't like being rude. I'm just having a moment here. I'm just having a moment, I don't think I'm OK.

Julie

Matt.

Matt

I hate him. I don't like hating people, but I just put all my hate on him so I don't have to hate anyone else so I can be a good person, you know to my Grandma, to my friends, to your daughter. That's all I want to say. I want to tell him to his face that I hate him but he doesn't even have a face. I'm sorry, Mrs. Taylor. I'll see y'all tomorrow.

Landry

I'm sorry man.

Matt

You should be man, you suck. We've been working on this for a while and you still suck.

Landry

Not at all I was talking about...

Matt

They're giving us a death gratuity.

Landry

A death gratuity?

Matt

Yeah it's like 100 thousand dollars.

Landry

Does it come in a tip jar?

Matt

Someone gave me this grieving handbook and it said: when you're dad dies you should most likely, probably go to a music festival in Austin.

Julie

You're such a liar.